Broad
strokes invade the subtlest
Placidity,
with an entourage of corrosive
inhibitions,
the boon of tranquility-swathed
picaresque.
Dashed
by despondency and ire, inveracity
Grooms
its toiled prepossession-brokering legerdemain
through
generalities voiced in hearsay and
hegemony.
Salacious
seeds ferment ensconced.
Suckling-in,
nestled-upon, the undefiled teat
of
ablution, that sees its wellspring dry in
retrocession.
A
residuum of salubrious crumbs, the delicacy
for
obsidian aphrodisia, effuses. Contravention’s valiance,
amidst
vituperrious flood, ultimately wanes, in slumping
abnegation.
goodness fred..what are you doing to a poor german girl with your word choice in this poem...? smiles...but they underline the complexity of sin, hate and evil so well...
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Lovely!
ReplyDeleteI love reading fellow like minded people's work!
Thank you for sharing.
Regards
The PostMan
http://postcardsinthewind.blogspot.com/
definitely plays with the tongue as you read great flow, your word play makes me slow down and think through...really like this section...
ReplyDeleteSuckling-in, nestled-upon, the undefiled teat
of ablution, that sees its wellspring dry in
retrocession.
ok, looks like comments are finally taking again...i really have been trying to comment but darn blogger...ugh...
ReplyDeleteWhat a sin indeed, you had me go and look up a word or two on this feed, geez such a sin, but yet another win. Not all sin is bad, sometimes just a tad, other times way wrong, like a 400 pound person walking around, in public, in a thong..hahaha
ReplyDeleteClaudia, yeah sorry about that- hopefully the words translated well- many probably aren't in the translation- but you got the main point- the "big" words are not very common, but they all pretty much follow a train of thought and It all started with a quick synonym look up. The piece was going to be about a painting damaged by water haha obviously took a different direction. Glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny too because I've always known you're from German- but I was actually going to write a sequel to this piece and was going to play off the Ich Bin Ein Auslander- which I believe is German for I am a foreigner- which I can't take credit for thinking up, great song by the way, but I've always liked how it sounded and so wanted to use it- just interesting as all-seeing you're german and this idea I had:)
Postman,
ReplyDeleteGlad to have you over. Look forward to checking your work out. Thanks for the comment and glad you liked the piece
Brian- yeah Blogger's been on the fritz I guess for a couple days- They still have to fix my updates and now this- geez... I had the same thing happen to me on a few sites I've tried posting comments to- glad to see you made it through- glad you liked the piece- a bit tough to get through, as the language can do both aid and inhibit flow- which was a reason I chose to continue on with the rarer terms after I stumbled upon the first few. Thanks for the feedback as always.
ReplyDeletePat- yeah I actually thought about that. Orlin's tail must be pretty strong through, after all the adventures he's been on, thought he'd be okay with flipping a few pages of dictionary lol Yeah that reference should not only be a sin but an illegality :) Glad you enjoyed the piece
ReplyDeleteIt seems like the nature of sin is to reject a thing or cause it to be something exclusive that people should not indulge in or partake it in any frequency or enjoyment. I think from here, one can see that sin is not about the universal moral code, although it is often claim to based off it. Sin is label with no grey areas, forced upon, to be taken as law without logic.
ReplyDeleteRaven-
ReplyDeleteYeah sin, without looking it up, I believe is the absence of morals- Probably listed more poignantly than that but the points pretty close I'm assuming, so your nature of sin comment seems dead on, thinking similarly to my own take. It does have an effect on people. I think you're pretty close to how I wrote it-however the law without logic part is a bit grey for me personally- I believe sin does have it's laws- but it's basically a law of lawlessness- maybe I'm splitting hairs with the distinction- but again you're almost completely aligned with my thoughts. I really do think the absence factor comes through as a major role for Sin. Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback-as always, it's much appreciated:)