Dollar Another pen, some more mints and then
Scratches back Of you children, two cats-two dogs
At Pursestrings coin Cell, pens, tissue, Mints, pictures
Rhythmically scattered Strewn all abouts the lint
Strewn all abouts the lint Rhythmically scattered
Cell, pens, Tissue, mints, pictures At pursestrings coin
Of your children, two cats-two dogs Scratches back
Another pen, some more mints and then Dollar
You find the biscuits, just as you get home A
Closing the car door with a tinny boom Heart anticipates fiery hellos
Ears peak into windowsill BARK-BARKIdentities announcing to glass
The canines are the most needy They cry in overzealous joy
The cats will lay in waiting Probably high above the
As I turn the doorknob Carpeting, on tables
The symphony looms, High upon, for safe
As eyes distract Keeping, yet still
Mine, from the Always in
mess they Line of
made Sight
Mad Meow
yet how Strutting
could I stay Along polished
in such a state wood, tails pointing
when surrounded by Purring as they move
all these precious faces Contemplating briefly
That paint me an image, that If the moment is now ripe
my safe return from the mall, is To avenge past memories, or
the only thing mattering at all Pouncing, just for the great fun it is
Until noses astir the biscuits scent Instead they jubilantly follow me.
Not sure if I worked within the form or not. I did count the syllables in each line, so i think I did. But if not it was pretty fun regardless. Hope you all enjoy the pics. I have so many of them I didn't really know which to pick, so just grabbed the first ones for each that popped up.
Thanks go to D'Verse and their Form For All prompt, because without it I never would have thought this piece up tonight.
I have no idea why the form didn't come out the way I planned, I'm so upset and don't have the time to fix it right now. Really aggravates me, I'm so sorry for this:(
ReplyDeleteAww... there's nothing like the welcome from pets. I think this visual piece is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
http://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/walking-in-faith/
Oh my! I'm not familiar with the form but the opening, where each side is the reverse of its mate, that is creative and mind-boggling. Love the entire piece but most of all, I need to know if I can pet your dogs and cats? They are so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeth
I couldn't read it initially so I came back and it looks great now. Such fun verses and I agree with your dogs, your safe return is all that matters. Packs never break up so we put the poor children in a panic by leaving them each day. Also, domestication selects for juvenile traits, which is why dogs are such toddlers at heart - they never grow out of their overzealous joy to see us. I saw a NOVA special Dogs Decoded where it turns out they are as smart as children and can read our emotional cues by looking to into our right eye. Fun write tonight and nice to meet your family (though you may want to stop feeding them glow in the dark food :)).
ReplyDeletehey you alright man...my leaf looks emaciated...i finally gave up with it and just left it...nice animals you got there...i want biscuits....smiles.
ReplyDeleteI like the piece, and I loved the pictures of your babies!
ReplyDeleteAh don't be sad. We're up until Saturday 3pm Eastern. I tried to read it, but I know you want to re-set it so that it's the way you meant. The pictures might be messing you up. Look at it as you go under the html tab. That sometimes helps me and before I hit publish, I keep checking preview. Bryan knows a lot about how to format in html, I think; maybe you could ask him how to get what you want. I encountered similar issues with my "word up" poem so I know and share your frustrations!
ReplyDeleteI close to being afflicted with OCD but I could bother to count the syllables and make sure it was all perfect. Honestly, it was just too fun as is...plus I love the photos...especially the dog looking out the window. Loved it, Fred.
ReplyDeleteI think it is great and creative Fred! You are very talented and extremely patient. I admire those who can work within form, I am not one of those people. Well done. :)
ReplyDeleteno worries, Fred - fix and repost for open link night, maybe? Still enjoyed your words and those adorable pics (although their glowing eyes are kind of freaky.
ReplyDeleteI think this was a great attempt - i don't know that i could achieve anything like this
ReplyDeletevery creative
wonderful fred..i like the green eyes in the first two pics..they look like space pets...smiles
ReplyDeletegreat job with the form as well..i'm just not patient enough to really go for a complicated form - but enjoying all the artwork i see on the sites..
I tried leaving a comment before and it didn't take--I'm going to try again.
ReplyDeleteWell, in spite of you not getting your form the way you wanted, I loved this posting of your four legged friends and how they look forward to your return.
It reminded me of the Sheltie that grew up with my two daughters and how if he had made a mess and we came home, he would immediately put himself in "time-out" without us saying a word!
Phew, I thought it was me! I liked what I was able to read, Fred, and the pics were neat as well. Blogger's spacing is for crap. Try doing it in word and then cutting and pasting it--even then, one extra line or space somewhere can mess it up. I've spent hours fixing line breaks before..sympathies.
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone. I did some work on it a bit tonight, actually spent much longer than I wanted it to. But I got it to a point where it is at least somewhat resembling my intentions. I had to alter the color though to separate the sides thought. The weird thing is that when I went to edit it in blogger everything looked how I wanted it to, but screwed up on the site. Well I'm done trying to adjust it.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you all enjoyed the piece, it was fun. And the babies all say hello. and thanks for the nice comments about them :)
Yeah, I've noticed I have a bunch of pictures with the glowing eyes, I kind of think it's cool, it's probably the animal version of red eye but I have no clue as they don't all do that, maybe lighting, thanks again
Pat, weird thing, as if that's not the normalcy lately here. But I got your comment for this piece in my email, from blogger, but it was never here on the comments to publish list- don't know what happened to it- thanks though- I never would've guessed you'd be an animal person:) lol
ReplyDeletehaha blogger truly has something against you, never even heard of that happening before. And yeah that was a hard one to see coming huh?
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to putting words into shapes, might be better off arranging the words in the word program, taking a screenshot and then posting the jpeg. Blogger can be a pain when it comes to spacing, never exactly how you thought it would come out.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful poem about pets and how they bring joy into our life just by being themselves and their eagerness for our presence. What adorable dogs and cats you have. :)
This is great Fred! You upset? You should see what I went through! You've done it very well I must say. Very exhaustive treatment! The pets are just cute!
ReplyDeleteHank
Pat, oh yeah I completely agree I was dumbfounded, I checked the blogger thing and was checking email simultaneously and I was Like "what" didn't even know it was possible as the comments prompt the email- but oh well- Blogger enemy number one I guess is me lol
ReplyDeleteRaven- thanks for that info I never knew about the screenshot thing, someone mentioned it to me about something different and I had no idea, I thought about "well I guess I'll have to take a picture, then upload it and send it" But realize that's not the way, just never occurred to me in this case- thanks again for mentioning it, might come in handy later on. Glad you enjoyed the piece. Thanks so much for the compliments on the animals- I'll pass it on to them:)
Kay- Yeah it was a pain, thanks, glad you enjoyed the piece, exhaustive is the key word. And thank you, I'll pass the compliment on to them as well:)