Illusionism
Birthed by bartering-beliefs
For potential gain
Despite the council
Appendages turn
Sour with the decree
Sleight of hand, one, two
Holograms and gradients
Clouding an unknown
Tricks in games of chance
Gambling deceptions of man
Chloroform will dance
Macabre's stirring twist-
Back and forth, above-below
Calendars remind
Salted wounds grow numb
As roulette wheels cease tumbling
Pennies for your thoughts?
Who doesn't like chance?
A world without pit-bosses
Close your eyes, believe in dream
Haiku, Senryu, Renga etc.. are the stakes for the game this week over at D'verse, where Gay started a very nice lesson and discussion on Japanese style in this weeks Form For All. Here I used a few variations to complete this piece.
Wow, these are fantastic! As you likely know, I am a huge believer in the use of polysyllabic words - illusionism as its own line set the tone for me to love this! Am I missing a way to subscribe to your blog?
ReplyDeleteQuite clever, Fred. I live in Reno but stay clear of the whole gambling scene except for an occasional show or dinner...very occasional right now. You portray it well in Senryu.
ReplyDeletehot...the salted wounds one esp!!! i dunno about playing chance with odds these days...but i am a sucker for risk. smiles.
ReplyDeletesome intriguing pics in here fred...the chloroform dance for example..and after all still believing in dreams..probably something of the best things we're capable of
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, it was a great relief to read a poem with a series of connected thoughts, however constructed, after nothing but three liners for the last hour; enjoyable and interesting as they all were, I have a stronger affinity for a more narrative style.That last tercet is particularly sharp, and also liked 'chloroform will dance'--so many ways to read that. The whole piece is well drawn.
ReplyDeleteNice haiku set. I like taking chances but not the speculative ones. We believe in dreams...sure the lotto lines are long specially on weekends.
ReplyDeleteMy share is here:
http://everydayamazin.blogspot.com/2011/10/thoughts.html
In interesting assortment, made all the more so by their vagueness, except for this lingering feeling I get of unease, of something lurking deeper that's unsettling.
ReplyDeleteGene
true, chances are good.
ReplyDeleteyet efforts and risks are more subjective and powerful.
awesome sentiments in a set of Haiku.
Anna, thanks I really appreciate the comment. I love polysyllabic terms as well, and only hope to one day master weaving those types of words as well as you illustrate in your work. Right now I try to balance things as much as possible, with hopefully sprinkling a few "nuggets" into each piece. Arron is very good at this as is Kerryann. There is just something about the language of a piece where the words take on a whole other dimension. Their should be a google friend connect sign up section in the sidebar- I see it here on mine, but if not on yours the site also burns the feed with feedburner as well. Thanks again, really glad you enjoyed the piece, it was fun putting together:)
ReplyDeleteOh, I've always wanted to go out west, I've been to virtually every city if you drew an imaginary line down from minnesota down to New Orleans and all to the east, but have never been out west. Had a chance to go on a trip to Nevada/Oregon for a few weeks some years ago but unfortunately I had to decline the invitation. Really glad you enjoyed the piece. Thanks
ReplyDeleteBrian, I'm a sucker for risk as well- the odds well I'm the kind of gambler that would win every time if it wasn't for money or just for fun, but if It's for money-well then the outcomes would be different. I still play the lotto a dollar or two each week- just the chance is overwhelming and I think the period leading up to the drawing is a fun moment to glance out into the What would I do land, but in this economy gambling unfortunately truly preys upon the unfortunate and desperate, feeding them with a theory of hope- which is fine in some respect- but unfortunately many of these folks would be better off not embarking upon quests where the odds are clearly not in their favor. Thanks Brian, appreciate the feedback as always
ReplyDeleteClaudia- Thanks, glad you liked it, I really like that line too- I just love it when a great line just pops into the head- kind of a little rush:) Thanks
ReplyDeleteHedge- I completely agree with you, as fun as Haiku etc.. is, I often do a bunch of it on twitter and love reading them, but after a bunch of them I have to stop and move in a different direction- for myself as well as it wouldn't be fair to the poets of Haiku-as my attention might be in a different mode- read something longer, more in-depth- then return- but I do love Haiku- actually this is what happened to me here- I read a whole bunch of them, got to Tash's and realized I'd go with the longer string of Haiku etc... just to allow a little more story and to change things up a bit- love the way you did it as well- worked great for me. Thanks again, really glad you enjoyed the piece:)
ReplyDeleteHeaven- thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. Just visited your site as well- very nicely done, The lotto lines are long, especially when the jackpot rises high- which I always find funny- like theres a major "life-changing" difference between 10 and 50 million dollars- but that's just me, thanks again:)
ReplyDeleteGene- thanks I appreciate that. I like the way you looked at it from a different perspective- always love reading the comments as you can often get a sense for how each reads. Thanks
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this. I like using these forms as stanzas for longer poems as you did here. I think this qualifies as the "free verse" style that young Japanese writers are creating now. They actually are doing renga-freeverse on smart phones..throughout the day to capture the moment, the street, the stress of their lives. I think you captured well that gambling aura. Everyone should experience Vegas. It's a completely surreal experience - day and night for day -- no clocks -- free food - cheap drinks, and lots & lots of pretty women.
ReplyDeleteCello- glad you enjoyed the poem- I agree, thanks for the feedback-always appreciated
ReplyDeleteGay- Glad you enjoyed the piece. And thanks again for hosting the form for all- it was a lot of fun-not just writing this piece, but more so for being able to read so many different offerings. The discourse was an excellent run down- I have all those you described in numerous books, but none all in one place- and that includes a book detailing the history of Haiku- So It's definitely a resource having so many together in one well written post. I love collaboration poems- a few of us on twitter did one- much different than this- each did a line, but it's rather difficult to coordinate- would like to do it again sometime- the notion regarding the Japanese bouncing verse off each other's cell phones sounds really cool- and is definitely something of interest. Thanks again, really appreciate the feedback:)
ReplyDeleteNice: "Macabre's stirring twist"
ReplyDelete~Shawna (iamthat-shawna.blogspot.com)
Great sets that all work as one and quite well alone. I am no stranger to risk, from my gambling days, if done right it sure pays..haha...since I'm an accountant and all I have a mind for numbers, so fooled around, stuck $200 bucks in and poof won all the way up to $70 grand..haha of course they refused to pay most because I didn't lose much..oh well got some. Up here when you win at gambling you keep it all too, no paying taxes, love that.
ReplyDeletegood. life is a gamble also. full of illusions.
ReplyDeletego for it.
these Haikus are replete with symbols and allusions.
heavy poetry.
thanks for sharing.
Wow, this is such an awesome poem...I love the reference to salt in the wounds...the reference to pennies was paramount in delivering the guise of worth. Awesome job man. Great Poem.
ReplyDelete