Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Cursory ambivalence,
Success breeds, it grows, it shrivels, it slows,
Protozoan state returning

Sometimes there is but little we can do.
We are limited by the definitions we propagate
I am but man,
Flesh & bone,
Albeit brittle,
I am still

Artificial sweetness,
In an afternoon of bitter bright,
The goblets are empty, have been so, for some time now,
Since the first and last, happy tragedy to experiment,
Where are they now?  Where did they go? How and Why?
Exterior golden still- yet dusty inside,
Lack of use, too much worry filling that one,
When atrophied, clouds of pepper light, color the eyes each night
Before bedtime-Before the mares run free-enveloping-kicking

Monday, May 30, 2011

A Long Time Since When

A dampening air paths its way.  Leaking symbolic as it creeps to breathe.  Shellac posturing about my skin, dripping, reeking, emblematic of sin.  Blood coiled amongst jointed bone.  Commotion hollers for a return home. I long, yet cannot.

A wicked movement paces thin.  Dark and dreary, dreadful things, masquerading about, on a whim, demanding cheap pops to keep them in the state their in.  Fire ants show their wares and marching pins, collide upon encapsulated skin, unaware, unwilling to.  I hear the masters; I know their words.  Reflection, pool, crimson warm then cold.  As we’ll yearn, the long time since, the cleanser’s been used, yet soiled boundaries caress the folds.

Enigmatic chanting, powerful disturbances, of sects, like dominoes, knock one down, the rest will follow, at least that’s what the well-compensated, over-educated theorists claim to know.  I have my doubts. 

Rambling amidst a bramble, rolling fields fostering the dissidence from the recollections few, and bush for bristling eyes to gander through.  Corrupting patella’s kind-some touch. Bended knee, once more, should the ending change, from last time playing with a similar point-of-view. 

I do not fear the repercussions of how this confession looks to end. I’m much too old for that.  My flesh is hardened, like quick drying firmaments, awakened by erosion alone.  No daggers blow can alter this. No man without time can chisel deep enough. 

I remember the summers spent, in the abyss, at the void.  I stood, waiting, somewhat similar to what I do now, for your soul to gain release, for the penance I still strive to seek.

An oath I took many days before this minute here.  It was a vow, to a higher power.  A pledge to lead him in his finest hour was all that was asked of me.  I agreed.  I demanded steadfastness. I acknowledged the ends and means. Yet I could not harvest the patience.  I could not deny my limitations, my mortality, it’s selfish desire, it’s unyielding parch.

Blind in my actions, I defiled any who cared for me.  I rolled my eyes, blinking, in a rapid sense, to seal the moisture, blurring the lens, for fear of what might be on display. 

I was such the cucumber back in that time, green with promise, prickled to the touch.  I would take back the pleasures of youth.  If this were possible, if this were a possibility, I would be standing, first in line, last to leave.  However, as we all know, sin bleeds each sentence since.  No image, no fragment, no dangling, tangled pitch, no aspiration, no cloud to lay, nothing, not one is free, from the comingled desires played out in those early, formative days.  But still, the corruption has withered.  The mania has subsided.  I am different from that person.  A splitting occurred, some segment, down some line.  I am not absolved.  But perhaps one day, forgiven.

Locket in my fist, necklace trips through empty knuckles.  Flip the casing to one side.  Resurrect the love I once denied.  Pretending everything I know is but a vivid nightmare.  Some sorrowful tale, wrote for children, attempting to instill morality to the innocent.  Perhaps this is what never happened.  Perhaps I was the writer, with no understanding of consequence.  Maybe the writer enhanced the detrimental parts a little too much, making them more attractive than the moral ort offered at pieces’ end.

Books of questions, never answered, rest upon coffee tables, never used for beverage placement, too precious to stain, beside my bed.  I would add to them as confusion, or intricacies flashed, across the minds theater-like viewing chamber. Wide-screen, genre unclassifiable, perhaps noir, perhaps thrilling to those not involved, images I most likely only recall, as imprints, as Rorschach smudges, on some underused yet overvalued canvas wiped clean.

I still make notes.  I still read through each chapter, in the futility of an old man, looking to see if he, now, can answer any of them.  The wish of a dying man, with no seeds spread, no legacy to hold.  Loneliness is too cute a term.  It is too elementary to classify, all that’s transpired, all the white space in-between. Fractals, ghosts, live.

Drenched, I string fingers through straw.  Wondering when the clock shall strike.  At what hour the bird shall not be heard.  Perhaps, in this way alone, I’m like any other, regrettable being.  Closure is an open room.  You must not linger, lest a new passageway will become undone, and forever wandering you might roam.

And what do all these regrets say, when a loving family is by your side, wiping their faces clean.  Each tiny tear they bleed is a loving memory they have of you.  A hope that recollection will reignite, so you can remember, all the good you’ve done in life, what you have meant, still mean to them.  But they know, you won’t.  They know you can’t. They understand it’s not their fault, this place you’re in, includes not a single one of them. Yet they crack the window each morning, allowing light to bathe your face. 

They pray.  They hope.  They read stories.  They kiss your ignorant cheeks, momentarily altering hue. Temporarily bridging the gap, a connection that takes them individually back, to a place, a sacred place, a journey, they will not, cannot forget. They cry. They laugh. They hold each other’s hands and complete dialogue for those who stand beside.  Days of old adhere to days of present.  Gifts of memory, offered still.   

They grow closer to each other, all because of you. 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

When it comes to family, make every moment count

I’m sorry we’ve lost touch,
Your words helped mold a shapeless form,
Your lips preferred brevity,
Yet when crossroads peak,
And only one prong would benefit,
It does seem I opted wise

I believe, I truly do,
That it was you directing me through,

I apologize for any inconveniences I may have caused,
The lost space and time,
The overtures again and again
Over and over,
You sacrificed what you loved,
In order to rescue me,
From tear stained cloaks I wore,
To dire straits I may have crossed,

I believe, I truly do,
I’d be lost, if it weren’t for you

I regret every disrespectful deed,
Born from my action,
Yet it was some other boy,
Possessing me, stealing voice,
But this confession matters not,
These understandings you already knew,
Never once did I sink,
Not one step,
Not a second spent in thought,
Your unyielding forgiveness,
Did not spoil, like some would claim,
Instead I grew vast,
I learned what family means,
Forever more,
I’m stronger for,
I only wish I knew then, what I do now,
Never could I have guessed,
More time between us would not be spent,

That last time,
I forgot to admit my love for you-
But this, I believe, I truly do, you already knew

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Sidearm Jesus

I’ll be fine,
Don’t shed a tear,
I’ve seen worse,
I’ve bled lines,
Be not afraid, for I do not fear,
This is a penance, not a curse

With Jesus as my sidearm
I’m quickest to the draw
With Jesus as my sidearm
Fear’s replaced by awe

Memories of days gone by,
Confused and serrated,
Mingling inches from the grave,
In venom, antithesis and lies,
What sins this tongue has played,
And still, God chose my soul to save

With Jesus as my sidearm
No valley’s too dark to see
With Jesus as my sidearm
Light replaces treachery

Alone I’ve felt, for so long
Heart softly beat as the shadows whispers formed,
Meandering every which direction, looking for a sign,
I had to first hit bottom, before I could grow strong,
All around me, serpents slithered & creatures swarmed,
Broken & forlorn, when came the golden rays from high

With Jesus as my sidearm,
I now live without doubt,
With Jesus as my sidearm,
I’ve learned there’s always another route,

With Jesus as my sidearm,
I’ve learned to love again,
With Jesus as my sidearm,
Life anew begins

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Scribe

This is a piece I wrote back in may, a character development piece for a screenplay I'm working on.   D'Verse is having their weekly Poetics prompt, and the topic is trying to get into the head of someone and write as if you are the actor playing that person, or are that person.  Obviously my choice is a fictional character.  And just a warning, the piece is pretty disturbing.

Someone’s always left alive,
To bear witness,
I’ve spent all my life a poet,
And today, for that, my life is spared,

To watch such violence,
As your flesh, now Picasso-like,
Composed from friendly blood,
To keep composure,
To numb,
To silence,
All the aversions,
Your mind will surely throw,
For if you survive and cannot recall
You are no use to him at all,

Hours long he keeps them tied,
And stoves suppress,

Your eyes,
Tainted forever more,
Must look away,
When they cry for you to help,
In such, confusion's solved,

They never wonder
What side you're on,
What role you play,
A role they will never understand,
In fact, I can't say that even I am so aware

When all the days have exhausted,
As all the bleach destroys stain,
Pack he does,
With myself in tow,
Locked into an unseen panel,
Of a van he will flee in,
and the darkness there is a refuge, a reprieve

No light to occupy,
No sounds to churn,
Just the noise of rocks,
Or stone-
Kicking tires,
Scraping chrome,

Then the journey shall anew,
A bantering from beyond,
I can almost see the realtor,
Smiling as he takes the hand,
He would be the first,
To have his limbs severed this day,

Into the bowels I am cast,
Bound and gagged,as
They file through,
Some dirtied, others bruised,
Rarely though are the signs acute,
From sleeping victim to begging thief,
The portrait changes over time,
Branching out as before,
Never a shortage for the well to shore,
Documenting each one of them,
A plethora of character, endless though,
As often it does seem,

Fear has left me….Numb
Desire for releasing, to be the hero...quelled

I've envisioned my closing argument,
Pleading for forgiveness, I'm A VICTIM too,
I remind the jurors of,  to whom my future relies...Alas,
but this is but fanciful imagination

Justice offers, or owes, me nothing
No day in court, no bargaining,
No sentencing, only sentences
Creative, albeit from a monstrous womb,

To pass the time,
Between each chapter,
I play a game, if pursuits of play
are even appropriate...but it binds me from implosion

He always takes a souvenir,
Where it goes I dare not guess,
But with each new face,
I survey their person, for additives to persona
And, it keeps me from asking, "How many more?"

My greatest work, how sad that sounds
Characters so real, because they are
So richly layered and with depths of shading...unprecedented

Fathers, daughters, sisters, mothers,
Lovers, partners, strangers too...
A myriad of outlines; no credence or bias toward,
To which, I must analyze the way he operates into,

I must confess, I've plagiarized
From each and all...as the exact words,
born in that split-moment, just before finality,
Are the kinds of voice, that simply can't be reproduced fictitiously

Is there a difference? Between his mind and my own
Is there a pattern? Am I really that different
Can I hypothesize? Do I owe him a debt of gratitude---
Should I dare attempt define? Or a pox upon?
Each moment of calculation,
What every path represents
A variable, a data set,
For what I can not,
Nor, at this point, care to know-- Yes, I'm that far removed 

Just today, if the separation of day even still exists
Three men,two women Lions & lambs, both ripe for the slaughter

Each day I pray, yes pray... For a plot twist, or just any new development to siphon boredom from routine
When they are here, the innocents--which by his account, none truly ever can be, the smell of fear protrudes their pores....as it should...I'm still a realist...I still know the mind....now more than ever
Only the subtleties of accent, set them apart, hint to distances travelled, from where... It doesn't matter, but it certainly assists an accurate rendering of characterization...ever slur, twitch, tic and dialect, differentiates the countless extras needed...when this becomes film
yet agonizing pieces of morality tend to throb...."WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO?" I'd shout internally, as my other shoulder begins to tingle, "they're all the same, if not them, then...well, you"
Yes, they’re all the same to me, they're not real, simply props for my artistry, yes, that's it exactly...craftwork...where research is key

The misfortune of others has lustered my personal status, blinded me with egoism, I have a very pleased Id, yet periodically, the cancer grows, that temporary shift in mental subtext, back to a time when mental composure was everything....

Who am I-
that I should be the one to survive?  Back in my prior life, I wouldn't have been able to convince myself the answer, I would've sniveled in distortion, shedding a ballast of tears....But the man I have become, the evolution of self, well...the answer's simple...I have a gift, a gift he needs...a symbiosis... a pairing, he and I....he performs, and I document every detail, significant or trivial...that's why

His motto, his only creed,
Always leave one to breath,
Always leave one alive,
For a very long period now... that scribes been me, illustrating a masterpiece, one he seems pleased with, as am I

So hardened by the facets forced, I may have begun to feel invincible, a linchpin of sorts...an indispensable importance in his scheme

Today though,
All this may have changed,
As it’s come to my attention,
The number of writers,
In this place,
Is now two.. and the voice in my head fears she's better than me...but it can't end this way, I've at least, at minimum, a paragraph left to write...  

Unchained he left me alone with her...Hatchet in plain view, Was he testing me?  Who's he talking to up stairs? Who's there with him?  

Question's of similarity flooding.  Wood feels no different than any other appendage.  Her eyes flooding, mascara drowning her dress...What have I become?  Who am I now?  and with one fell swoop, hatchet compromises bone... Never questioning..."should I try to leave?"

Frayed old man descends the stairs...He heard the screams...this I'm well aware of...Drenched red, from hair to shoe...A smile enveloped his frown, glimmering through the darkened room...

A smile that turned to a disapproving grimace, as he sees her all but whole, except for the writhing hands upon the concrete pool..."Smart...but don't feel so secure....one day, it'll be you or some other her." Sighing as he leaves....and I do as well... never questioning the scent in the air, the deafening scream, the taste of blood that's painted poetry upon my lips...Will I ever be strong enough?  Will I ever live up to expectation?  Perhaps...one day... Perhaps, one day I'll win his love

So it looks as if a sequel's in store
If I survive to pen another tale,
I may never,
Be set free again

Hour-Glass of Sorrow

Somehow we’ve been altered, the glow has faded
Pauses linger, as the space between grows,
Lips delay the words their day
I’m left mute, since the 
Swirl of the recall
All the minutes
Spent loving
Passing through
Oak frames, supporting
 Glassy chambers-above, below
Unified, unyielding flow, gravity connects
 Two opposites as one, Cylindrically processing
The Granularity of quicksand’s placated disparity, until,
Shifting, sifting, quickly drifting, transforming spatiality into Void

Thursday, May 26, 2011

With Shields Removed

Don’t turn around,
It won’t consume you when you follow a path
Don’t turn around,
Or face, you will, his unearthly wrath,

I knew too much, too soon,
Age shortened, mind erased,
I knew it all before my time,
Consecrated, desecrated,
I was the only hindrance to his reign,
One born directly akin,
One without ability to sin

I can feel you, and all your minions,
Approaching shadows, crossing in the nights,
I can sense your presence; your foul stench,
Shifting about stealthily; withering, stealing life,
Looking for a time when I’m not near,
Waiting till she’s alone,
Waiting for separation to strike

Don’t turn around,
It can’t devour when the path is clear,
Don’t turn around,
It can’t reach those not consumed by fear,

I can see you walking
A familiar path, a road so well known,
I can feel you talking, each word you speak,
Another moment passes by,
Hang up the phone; hear me call,
Don’t turn around; this is for real,
I can see it closing; another second it does steal,
It’s my fault, its breath you now feel,
I’m much too far, close-yet away,
To protect you now, from an attack that is meant for me,
Just keep moving; I’m almost there,
Don’t turn around; do not veer,
Don’t turn around; please I beg you to hear me please,

Footsteps now covet the sound,
For a pause you stop,
Listening, slightly leaning
Torso, directed to the left,
Shoulder out, hair flies by,
In slow motion, I see the shadow in your eyes,

To my knees I drop,
An agony I was never taught,
Light escaping from each side,
The fluidity rushing from my eyes,

There’s nothing you can do,
No physical infliction upon this frame,
Yet I feel the torture so deep inside,
It came for me,
I tried to save,
It came for me,
It cared not for you,
Just a pawn,
An attempt to harm,
And you would have been fine,
Had you not heard,
The tonality of my tongue,
Calling out, summoning you,
The only reason,
For which you turned around,
And now,

Tumult's Passageway

Tumult’s pass
Yet undeserved
I can
At this unmarked door

Magnetic Lustfulness

Intoxicated by your lust,
In momentum I gave my trust,
Time honored traditions,
Not mine, but yours,
Spontaneous reasoning, beloved

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Discourse and Philosophy on Perspective

At any given moment, in any given location, an event happens. In fact, events happen everyday, in every place.  There are magnitudes of depth-filled detail, going on, every second, of every day, just in the space you occupy.  All you have to do is open your eyes, and you will see some of them.

With events, comes perspective, or point of view, however you wish to call it.  Each incident, event, situation etc.. breeds unlimited perspective. We should take part in constant discussion, with others, with ourselves.  We should compare our points-of-view.  Go over them continuously.

Perspective breeds knowledge. Knowledge breeds community.  Community fosters understanding.  Understanding plants the seeds for change.

With perspective there are no right or wrong answers.  In fact answers don't exist.  We only have solutions, an infinite amount of them.

Instead of looking at things so finitely, evaluate in relation to your own perspective.  No matter how different your point of view may be, they are your perspectives.  Take ownership.  When someone looks at things similarly consider your perspective affirmed through another.

When someone's point of view differs from yours, do not play games of argument, simply understand a differential exists between your viewpoints.  But don't stop there.  Examine those perspectives, how did it arrive?  What can you take from them?  Learning never ends.  Neither should understanding.

Two cars, at full speed,
The screech is heard and they collide,
Where you may drop to your knees,
Despise and descry, " Oh, the humanity,
What a day of infamy, such is the tragedy of
The fragility, the unsuspecting & unknown nature of life,"
I however think alternatively,
I see two unlike, yet similar objects attract,
Creating something different in the wreckage,
Twisted, mangled, converged and committed

In such a case, you may claim insensitivity has a stranglehold on me.  I may claim you may be right.  I might also say, I choose to see the possibility, even when surrounded, seemingly, by the end of light.  Do not criticize others for thinking, viewing, things alternatively.  Accept, the balance your two positions take, and together take flight. 

A forest filled with flame and fear,
Smoke forcing the surrender of the air,
Quality of breathability’s forfeiture is slow,
Spreading, wildly, uncontrolled,
You may be unnerved, as the damage sears and scores,
Shriveled foliage atop, the once wooden, now charred floor,
I however, see the spread of warmth,
And the possibility for change to sprout
From a now fertile land,

When points delve deep enough, bluntly they become.  When witnessing the world through darkened glasses, shaded images are sure to come.  In a scene of calamity, be the one, if so you see, not as uncaring, but as the shoulder, as the disruptor of the darkening.

You see a murder,
I see the gun,
You see the expiration,
I watch the pool that’s begun,
                           Rippling, coveting the ground below

You see a doomsday tree,
I see another ring to be,
You see specters in the air,
I feel the breath of spring on napes so bare,

When you see pain
I see limits to test me thoroughly,
How far?    Will the outcome change?   Has another method appeared?
What to do?  Will you be their for the highs and lows?

Questions will arise.  Perspectives will change.  Some will try to force their vision.  Do not let them change you.  Listen to what they say.  Offer your vantage too.  Even if their heat boils.  Simmer still as they recoil.  Allow words to pass before actions make, a bigger differential between the two of you.  Be quick to observe.  Be intent on processing what you see.  But be quicksand, sinking slow, when it comes to labels, when it comes to condemning.

When you see a newborn, in its mother's arms,
Breathing life for the first time,
Ignorant in its innocence,
You feel her love just the same

I see the long life ahead,
All the happy moments yet to come,
All the sad strokes  and failures from,
All the experience it will share,
Loving embraces,
Disgruntled faces,
But most of all,
I see a sea of aquamarine,
And its swelling waves of possibility

You may agree, yet expound.  You may be the toll with which a shared philosophy must atone.  You may hold the words, so soft and sweet, enough cloud on tongue, enough to solace me.  I believe, but that's just me.  You have every right to disagree.  

I see a leaf,
Floating in the air,
Meandering, enjoying it's wafting course,

I smile,
When you see the leaf,
As falling down,
From a withered branch,
I never saw,
Yet as you speak,
It's like I've always known. 

Perspectives, make us each unique.

Perspectives & Points of View,
May be the only freedom we can truly own.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


In the fringe of autonomy,
Business-like outsourced,
Laziness enforced,
Limbs grow weakened,
As life unfolds,
A splice in time
Bleeding steel from flesh
Move as created for

Polluted Kisses & A Shadow's Path (2 poems posted to Twitter)

Polluted Kisses,
Purging Smog,
A luster lathering,
-                                  Within

A shadow’s shadow crossed us by,
Opacity engulfed you and I,
Reflected in such a time, a lapse revealed,
That the startled shadow withdrew,
Leaving only me and you

Monday, May 23, 2011

Various Poems posted on Twitter


Linoleum / Caveat / Harness

Senators / Tribute / Bullets

Clutch / Amber / Confessional

Prose Poem

I went for a walk. Clarity was the aim.  Distraction is to blame. Without focus, we’re left watching squirrels in trees.


Chartreuse mist of meaning
Governed by a twisting vein
Alarms and developments
Events that spawn,
Persist through dawn
As the rooster woos the day

The Deceiver
Wrapping coils, to unsuspecting kin
Begs spurred from hunger
It spies an otter wading
As parricide appears

Devalued Glimmer
Stripes of outer pulse
Glorious repercussion
Demystification of golden halls
I wander
Through them all

As the macabre raps
At a window by the bed
Best leave curiosity for dream
Only God knows what’s behind the pane

Cats in a window
Observing other cats
They see them as free
They want that so badly too
But cats can’t understand
The woes of parenthood

Gems washed with care
Bubbling brilliance everywhere
A prism of hope for all to share
A gentle gliding
Dreaming in

Lyrically unwind
Blight or chorded delight
When lost for words
In music, something you’ll always find


Fumbling out
Enclosed mental pen
Secrets roam

Portobello, yum
Savoring the taste to tongue
A La Deriva

Spiny reaches out
Ossein dreams converted


Guards blood  
stained interior

Six Word Lines

Feline Shaman purrrify all their litter

InfanTILE, applied with paste, new foundations

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Communal Poem

A small group of poets, myself included, got together on Twitter this past week.  @moltoassai,@akischilz, @gustavojmata,@poeticalpsyche (me), and @isabelmbush.  These are our handles on twitter, feel free to follow us for our own unique blend of poetical musings.  This is also the order for this first #Communalpoem, the hashtag where you can see how the process evolved, every line, inspiration and bump of it.

This first Communal Poem is a ten line piece.  Lines 1-5 are composed in the order listed above. Lines 6-10 are in reverse order.  Snake-like winding for any of those familiar with Fantasy Sports drafting.  Each of the lines in this poem also serve as a portal to the website of the poet who composed that line.

The Green leaves tremble feeling shy
Until shivering their blossom into flight
On a magic mushroom the grasshopper chants
Lines of wisdom, lines of rhyme, lines over ten-thousand times
He continues his solemn chant, until the moon rises and casts its light over the misty river

Hearing the call, the giant white eagle wakes, from his decade long slumber
Wings expand, tufts breathe, talons release its dreamtime grasp

Anaba sweeps the Hogan floor-Manaba whisper "Our time is come"

The eagle knows; wings fan a moon into the eyes of the grasshopper at Manaba's feet

Sweet sounded words the poet's glory; that was our little springtime story

Please check out each of the links and enjoy the contributing poets personal sites.  I'm sure there will be plenty for you to enjoy.

Finally, if you're on twitter, grab some friends and compose a communalpoem of your own.  Feel free to save all your project posts to #communalpoem so the world can watch your creativity unfold.  All I ask is that if you see a current communalpoem in progress you watch as it unfolds before starting your own, just to cut down on any confusion.

Thanks and hope you all enjoyed.

Twitter Variety Pack 2


Crimson, ruby lips
Painted agents for camouflage
True identity revealed

Legend falls hard
As rings distribute for warmth
Disregard for nature


Within the lotus dream
Time will stop
And it will go
From dream state
Peacefully breaking
A never-ending sleep


Pestilence and pride
Ruiner of body and mind
Until the soil stirs


Pestilence and pride
Ruiner of body and mind
Until the soil stirs
Acutely conditioning
Withering from selfishness

Jealousy, it’s not for me,
Yet it does creep impatiently,
In my thoughts and within
Unconscious looks I give,
What’s been said, and what’s been heard,
A path toward interment laced with words
To silence the jaded voice,
I found self respect as my only choice