Cursory ambivalence,
Success breeds, it grows, it shrivels, it slows,
Protozoan state returning
Punt
Sometimes there is but little we can do.
We are limited by the definitions we propagate
I am but man,
Flesh & bone,
Albeit brittle,
I am still
Punt
Artificial sweetness,
In an afternoon of bitter bright,
The goblets are empty, have been so, for some time now,
Since the first and last, happy tragedy to experiment,
Where are they now? Where did they go? How and Why?
Exterior golden still- yet dusty inside,
Lack of use, too much worry filling that one,
When atrophied, clouds of pepper light, color the eyes each night
Before bedtime-Before the mares run free-enveloping-kicking
Punt
humans are manipulated by many subjective elements.
ReplyDeleteyour words are deep, very beautiful expression of your sentiments.
Happy Rally.
Jingle thanks for visiting. Really some good work at the rally. I can't really think of any that weren't top notch. Great Rally this week. Thank you for the comments here, I am glad you enjoyed this piece:)
ReplyDeleteUnique selection of words and many interesting thoughts to consider. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the rally, mate.
ReplyDeleteLiked the line
"We are limited by the definitions we propagate" a lot.
Cheers!
Magdalena- Thanks for stopping by. I'm really glad you liked this piece. Thanks for taking the time to comment, I appreciate them very much :)
ReplyDeletemihirvatsa- So glad you could stop by. I love the sense of community the rally and onestop and the slams provide. I'm really glad you enjoyed the piece. Thanks again:)
ReplyDelete"Clouds of pepper light" is one of the most beautiful things I've heard in a long time.
ReplyDelete"When atrophied, clouds of pepper light, color the eyes each night" Love this line I can't explain why but reading this makes me think of "The Book" by Alan Watts
ReplyDeleteThe second verse, especially I liked that! It is so true! Lovely verse! Thanks for sharing and rallying along :)
ReplyDeleteCoffee-By the way I dig a bunch of cohen's stuff. Thanks for stopping by and visiting. I appreciate your leaving a comment and I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. Your comment is an amazing compliment to me, I'm flattered. Thanks again :)
ReplyDeleteMindlovemisery- Thanks for commenting and stopping by today. I've never read that book but I've marked it down. I'm a glutton for good reads, I have ten coming in any day now, so when I finish them I'll check this one out and see if it's something I may enjoy, I like that line a lot too- Funny story how I got the line- I was laying down, waiting for the painkillers to kick in and I got this scary premonition regarding not being able to exercise and Atrophy popped in my head, the line went from there- Again glad you enjoyed this piece, thanks again:)
ReplyDeleteLeo- Thanks for visiting, I enjoyed your site by the way, lots of good reads in there. The second verse in this piece is about as to the nose I typically get- I'm usually very convoluted, deceptive, symbolic-"artsy" with my work- but once in a while, more than usually lately however, I lay something there that tells it like I feel it, where no cipher is needed. I'm glad you liked this piece, thanks again:)
ReplyDelete“Sometimes there is but little we can do.
ReplyDeleteWe are limited by the definitions we propagate
I am but man,
Flesh & bone,
Albeit brittle,
I am still
Punt”
This stanza made me stop in my tracks and savor for a moment. Such a simple and powerful statement of the condition of man. As a poet I love to delve into metaphor and symbolism, I often bury meaning layer upon layer like a poetic rapscallion. But sometimes the most profound and moving thoughts are a thousand times deeper when stated with such surface simplicity as the stanza above.
K McGee- Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I agree with what you mentioned. Throughout my entire life composing poetry I've always done abstractions and symbolism for the most part. However lately I've been making a concerted effort at cutting the layers down and incorporate the non-symbolic into my writing. I have to say it's much more fun writing pieces where truly you are the only one who could possibly understand what your inspiration or what exactly the piece is for, a puzzle so to speak, in addition to the other merits you had mentioned, but simplest things sometimes I've found can be profound. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and hope to see you visit again, thanks again:)
ReplyDeleteLots of wisdom in this rich, well-written poem. Love the line "we are limited by the definitions we propagate".
ReplyDeleteI loved the fact your so highlighted in those lines of yours, that how we are restricted by our own definitions, it's something to ponder on.
ReplyDeleteJudith, thanks for stopping by. Lots of people seem to like that line. The definitions we create play an integral part to who we are and what we see when we look at the world. That's how I look at it anyhow, and even so, I make poor definitions all the time:) thanks so much again
ReplyDeleteAlivealways, Yes definitions are something to ponder, and here's something else to ponder, they can change so easily. But once we make them, until we clarify the situation and alter our definitions, we are restricted, whether that is for good or bad. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, and really glad you enjoyed this piece:)
ReplyDeleteA wonderful thread of great words in this piece. "Exterior golden still- yet dusty inside," loved this string...we ignore our true house so often. Great write ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteRose, thanks for your comments and for stopping by. I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece. It is true, unfortunately the truest of trues typically is the first to be overlooked. Thanks again:)
ReplyDeleteI loved your poem. Very colorful reality. But I especially liked the title and the 3 times you used it in the body of the poem. Punt..it evokes hope to me!
ReplyDeleteCindy, I'm glad you liked this piece and glad hope was what you took away from it. I love poetry for this reason, one poem can typically be interpreted so many ways. Thanks for stopping by:)
ReplyDelete