Somehow we’ve been altered, the glow has faded
Pauses linger, as the space between grows,
Lips delay the words their day
I’m left mute, since the
Swirl of the recall
All the minutes
Spent loving
You
Sorrow
Passing through
Oak frames, supporting
Glassy chambers-above, below
Unified, unyielding flow, gravity connects
Two opposites as one, Cylindrically processing
The Granularity of quicksand’s placated disparity, until,
Shifting, sifting, quickly drifting, transforming spatiality into Void
brilliant,
ReplyDeletehour glass of sorrow, wow.
powerful imagery.
Jingle, thanks for the comment. I appreciate them. Glad you enjoyed this work. Once in a while I find it a nice vacation of sorts to dabble in concrete and shaped poetry. In my opinion they are much more difficult to compose because you become restricted to an image you are trying to display. It takes a lot of discipline as you constantly are thinking of different, probably better, words to use, but can't because they would alter the picture. Thanks again:)
ReplyDeleteCreative and the flow is sweet in its sorrow, great write!
ReplyDeleteyour words are touching. the hourglass display is powerful too.
ReplyDelete-robin http://mysecretinnuendo.com
I love the shape of the poem and the melancholy sentiments, so beautiful
ReplyDeleteAB- Thanks for your response, I'm glad you enjoyed the shaped poem. It's a really fun form to try and work in. But it can also be a challenge to:) Glad you commented, thanks :)
ReplyDeleteRobin- Thanks for the comment, I do appreciate all the responses, they mean a lot to me. I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece, thanks :)
ReplyDeletemindlovemisery- thanks for the comment. I really enjoy composing shaped pieces, or any odd forms for that matter. The hourglass is something that has always intrigued me, such the symbol for the shortness in time as well as slippage of moment. Thanks again for your responses, I appreciate them:)
ReplyDelete'transforming spatiality into void' - what a great line!
ReplyDeletewonderful use of the hourglass figure as imagery and as your poem's form.
Jessica- Thanks again for stopping by, I really do appreciate all the comments. Yeah I love that line too. I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece. Shaped poetry is a fun form to work in, can pull your hair out a bit trying to make the picture fit without sacrificing message, but it's fun, a lot of fun. Thanks again :)
ReplyDeletewow, this was great! loved it. the way you had it put down was terrific!
ReplyDeleteLunawitch- I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Shaped poetry is always fun to work with, They give headaches, you have to substitute sometimes a word you really want to use with another so the picture fits the shape, but overall their fun and worth doing. Thanks so much I appreciate your visiting:)
ReplyDelete