Tuesday, October 4, 2011

He Wore A Heart of Orange Upon His Sleeve


She wore the yellow in her lace
Indoctrinated by the ever changing faces
That imbued her mother, as she grew-
Lacking all pigmentation, if not Blue

He wore the dust of heralds
Adhering its pink upon his heart,
Of which, since that fated dawn, he could only sing of her in carols
A soundtrack to love’s play, and Sisyphus became his part

She danced the reddest predilection
Enraptured by his persistent, amorous intent
Yet engrained are the evils, alive in her tapestries’ reflection
She damns affection, for the avarice of hesitance

Many stanza’s later…the spectrum’s cycle still would spin

She blankets herself in the blackest blur
Aged now, she has grown, but his pursuits have since died
And the clocks had sealed their lips, once apathy’s languor flecked eye,
If only she’d known, if not for decline, he’d still move boulders for her 



Well another Tuesday is upon us, and with it comes another week of wonderful and brilliant poetry over at D'verse.  This week we're all in for a treat, as one of my favorite poets, Tash, will be hosting Open Link Night.  Anyone who enjoys reading some great original poetry should be sure to check it out, and while you're there, perhaps you'll feel the urge to share a poem of your own.  Happy OLN!

23 comments:

  1. "Many stanza’s later…the spectrum’s cycle still would spin."

    That made me howl! What a brilliant touch!

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  2. Mama, glad you enjoyed the write. Well there's actually a bit of backstory to the line you pointed out. The original poem had a stanza for each color of the spectrum, with the last one here being the last one there. So as you can tell it was very long. Then the idea came to me for this line- which had a duality of purpose for this piece. I also am very pleased with how it all worked out- and anytime i can make a woman howl- well that's all the compliments I need:) Thanks again

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  3. from yellow to black within a few lines and a whole world in between..if only she'd known...makes my heart ache...wonderful, wonderful write fred..oh and i'm not really close to mannheim...but thanks for telling me...may have a look on tv later...

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  4. Claudia, glad you liked the write. Yeah, it is a bit sad- she let the situation her mother had, that she grew up around, to prevent herself from her own happiness-all because she was afraid to take a chance- fearing history would repeat itself for her. Thanks for the feedback- If you like hockey it might be a good game- not on TV here though- I heard some interviews and two of our players are from Germany Hecht and Ehrhoff-both seem pretty excited to be back in Germany- Feel bad for Hecht though that he couldn't play b/c of a concussion. Anyhow- thanks again

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  5. nice...love the use of color but also the tale...woeful honestly...if she would have only known...too many go without knowing

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  6. Chance is what life is all about, won't ever live it one just sits around and no where to be found. Sad how some never try because they don't want to risk anything or because others have put them in that buble thanks to their own fears. Great piece as always.

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  7. Awww .. I love a happy ending, if only she had known...how sad.
    A lovely write from you Fred!

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  8. Fantastic write, Fred. "engrained are the evils, alive in her tapestries’ reflection" - brilliant. Love the color theme, and it's interesting to read your backstory notes as well. I agree - the "Many stanza’s later…the spectrum’s cycle still would spin" line is a fantastic touch.

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  9. Ah...that yellow vanishes right into your present background. Like what you were going for with that color code, but in that regard - my eyes! Also: why isn't "reddest" colored red?

    More to the point though, and to stop being a jerky nitpicker (sorry about that), it is a marvelous little write, woe-struck and heartfelt, a colorful delight of literature.

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  10. Hi Fred! I sensed a LOT of motion and rhythm in your poem. Like a dance. Round and round we go. Like a line from an old song, "We're captured on the carousel of time..."

    It also brings images to my mind from what might have been the Age of Absolutism and Enlightenment in France...not sure why, it just does.

    Also a poem that speaks to life, it's cycles, and vagaries. And, your words weave it all together like a moment captured in 'stained glass." Nicely crafted Fred!

    Best regards,
    Roger ☺

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  11. Fred! You flattered me twice today! Huge hugs your way! I may be nitpicking, (as the write is awesome!) but was reddest supposed to be red? Now that that's out of the way...you speak to my soul with this write. I have often avoided risk...for the sake of another's happiness (poem coming soon to a blog near you!) And spend many days wondering what would have been different only if...Oh dear...starting a conversation here that has no good direction for me! suffice it to say, you've sent this mind wondering down many avenues with this share, and I may have to fault you for some of my future writes! Hey...YOU ROCK (couldn't forget that part!)

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  12. I like how you made this a poem and a short story as well. that was creative

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  13. I love way too many of the lines in this to quote them all--but "he wore the dust of heralds' was exceptionally choice, and the stanza following after, ending in "She damns affection, for the avarice of hesitance." was genius. I won't howl, but clap enthusiastically, as befits my more sober years.

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  14. Really glad you all seem to enjoy the piece. I swear it's great to turn the Blog on and see so many have read the piece already, and OLN has only been on for a few hours now. But then I see many have left feedback as well. I really appreciate it. Tash and Chris great catch, really appreciate it- reddest was definitely supposed to be colored in as well. Chris- yeah I know the backdrop and the yellow don't really mesh- apologize for the eye strain, but the symbolism of yellow-fear/cowardice I thought fit best on the normal backdrop- I actually thought about using a different shade of yellow- but anyhow- it was all intended to be difficult to read. But you are right it's much harder to read then the plan's intent-

    Thanks again to everyone. Really appreciate it

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  15. Oh, if only, *sigh* Cool use of color, and I loved the little break, "Many stanza’s later…the spectrum’s cycle still would spin" - Well done!

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  16. I hope I've truly fixed my commenting problem on Blogspot now. This was enjoyable from start to finish and I read all the comments too (Joy is hysterical). I will also clap as I reserve outcries for other occasions. Great write!

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  17. Loved it ....thanks as alwaysx

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  18. Lori- Thanks I appreciate that, really glad you enjoyed the poem

    Anna- Thanks for being patient with the Blogger Snafu- But I'm not as confident as you- It seems to go away then come back- But hopeful I am too. Yes Joy is funny- it was a great line there- definitely got a chuckle- Clapping is fine:) Thanks again, really appreciate the feedback and glad you enjoyed the piece

    Kez- Thanks, Really glad you enjoyed it

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  19. a sad story told in a very colorful way ;) nice one, Fred.

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  20. Shiela, yeah it is a bit of a sad one. Thanks, I appreciate that, really glad you enjoyed it:)

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  21. You ending is excellent how he will still move boulders for her great write I love this so much
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/04/memories/

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  22. many people experience such, giving up hope is sad.

    well told story.

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  23. Ann, really glad you enjoyed the piece, thanks for the feedback, always appreciated

    Morning,

    That is true, thanks, I'm glad you liked the write:)

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