Renewal

To the happy thoughts,

All those things that elate

You’ve no idea the incongruity

You bring to me,

At what expense is the pleasure I should take

Do the positive gains negate

Each and every hateful word I ever said

Being happy is difficult for me,

Instead of taking the moment for what it is,

I roll scenarios through my mind

And compare them to how this moment could have been

And even the ones that seem perfect

I find the flaws in each of these,

Yet when I saw her, that very first time,

I realized perfection truly does exist,

To think she has my blood,

That she is a product, a creation,

From the girl I still see when we were little, when we were kids

Thoughts like this, provide the urge,

The motivation to persist