Draconian
devils in a pristine shell
amenable
shills in a damning hell
predators
and parasites
vagabonds
to guttersnipes
adulators;
sycophants
prime
movers and those who can’t
Dressed
up, candor in a scarf divine
red
sails stir, cloaking past
the
silicone and fiberglass
timing’s
early, hours late,
pursing
fourth’s, contracting fate
words
sung with a torrid force
You
want a story
open
your eyes
you
want drama
fight;
survive
you
want a hero
that
I can’t provide
Mosaics
and masquerades
promenades
and palisades
chardonnay
smiles and bourgeois tears
contemptible
intentions reflecting fear
nesting
cretin’s scar the pleat
(dilettantes
(poor Faberge)) eggless and incomplete
Dressed
down, guile to spine, slick corset veiling lines
black-toed,
shin to heel, flaming skirt, striking fast
high
slit thigh, low draped neck, a fire-flash
breaking
down, broken in,
the
radio’s deafening, silent din
and
we begin again
You
want a story
open
your eyes
you
want drama
fight;
survive
you
want a hero
that
I can’t provide
no,
that is something
only
you can breathe,
that
is, if in yourself,
you
choose to believe
nice...i really like the refrain or chorus in this...esp the part on finding a hero...and love the quick turns on the imagery as well...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian, the hero is vacant for the most part and kind of left in question, but the opportunity is there if you can believe in yourself. The chorus is the strong point of the song, I built that part first and filled the rest in after. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks
DeleteNice rhyming at your sea, setting the pace with glee. Yeah no matter how much one goes at it and nags, trying to get others to help them and such. Sometimes they just can't, no matter the creeper or situation it first has to start from within. Although tons of creepy things you thrown in there I would rather not meet up with in a dark alley..haha
ReplyDeleteHa, yeah nothing you'd want to meet in a dark alley, that is for sure. Yeah you know, you get those moments when only rhyming will do, well I think we all know you know that too. Thanks
DeleteI agree with Pat, some frightening images here, delivered with an intensity that builds with each stanza. Potent work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna, I was looking for an intensity, glad you saw that. Thanks
Deleteyou want a story open your eyes...wow I love that line!
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery, as always, too Fred.
Thanks Betsy, yeah you know, this whole piece was a product of that line. I thought it up first and thought it belonged in the chorus of a song, so I built the chorus from there and then went on to write the rest. Thanks
DeleteThis will make great metal lyrics. I don't really want more drama though but I think one sometimes act like one wants more drama - complaining much, wishing and not acting, just jeering from the edge.
ReplyDeleteAwesome, glad you said that. Almost all my songs are written with a metal slant to them. Thanks
DeleteNice?
ReplyDeleteI disagree. There's nothing 'nice' about it.Strong, yes. Overwhelming, yes. Powerful, yes. Puzzling at times? yes.
Quite something.
Yeah, not really a nice tune, overwhelming and strong are kind of what I was going after, so thanks, I appreciate that.
Deletethat refrain works really well fred...and also the pointing at the learning from what is already in us..waiting to be discovered..there's much more inner strength than we're aware of at times i think
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia, the learning what's inside us is a big part of the song. Thanks
DeleteRaw and real. Love it.
ReplyDelete