Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Song for Immature Savants


Draconian devils in a pristine shell
amenable shills in a damning hell
predators and parasites
vagabonds to guttersnipes
adulators; sycophants
prime movers and those who can’t

Dressed up, candor in a scarf divine
red sails stir, cloaking past
the silicone and fiberglass
timing’s early, hours late,
pursing fourth’s, contracting fate
                                                      words sung with a torrid force
You want a story
open your eyes
you want drama
fight; survive
you want a hero
that I can’t provide

Mosaics and masquerades
promenades and palisades
chardonnay smiles and bourgeois tears
contemptible intentions reflecting fear
nesting cretin’s scar the pleat
(dilettantes (poor Faberge)) eggless and incomplete

Dressed down, guile to spine, slick corset veiling lines
black-toed, shin to heel, flaming skirt, striking fast
high slit thigh, low draped neck, a fire-flash
breaking down, broken in,
the radio’s deafening, silent din
                                             and we begin again

You want a story
open your eyes
you want drama
fight; survive
you want a hero
that I can’t provide

no, that is something
only you can breathe,
that is, if in yourself,
you choose to believe
  

15 comments:

  1. nice...i really like the refrain or chorus in this...esp the part on finding a hero...and love the quick turns on the imagery as well...

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    1. Thanks Brian, the hero is vacant for the most part and kind of left in question, but the opportunity is there if you can believe in yourself. The chorus is the strong point of the song, I built that part first and filled the rest in after. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks

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  2. Nice rhyming at your sea, setting the pace with glee. Yeah no matter how much one goes at it and nags, trying to get others to help them and such. Sometimes they just can't, no matter the creeper or situation it first has to start from within. Although tons of creepy things you thrown in there I would rather not meet up with in a dark alley..haha

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    1. Ha, yeah nothing you'd want to meet in a dark alley, that is for sure. Yeah you know, you get those moments when only rhyming will do, well I think we all know you know that too. Thanks

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  3. I agree with Pat, some frightening images here, delivered with an intensity that builds with each stanza. Potent work.

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    1. Thanks Anna, I was looking for an intensity, glad you saw that. Thanks

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  4. you want a story open your eyes...wow I love that line!
    Great imagery, as always, too Fred.

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    1. Thanks Betsy, yeah you know, this whole piece was a product of that line. I thought it up first and thought it belonged in the chorus of a song, so I built the chorus from there and then went on to write the rest. Thanks

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  5. This will make great metal lyrics. I don't really want more drama though but I think one sometimes act like one wants more drama - complaining much, wishing and not acting, just jeering from the edge.

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    1. Awesome, glad you said that. Almost all my songs are written with a metal slant to them. Thanks

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  6. Nice?
    I disagree. There's nothing 'nice' about it.Strong, yes. Overwhelming, yes. Powerful, yes. Puzzling at times? yes.
    Quite something.

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    1. Yeah, not really a nice tune, overwhelming and strong are kind of what I was going after, so thanks, I appreciate that.

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  7. that refrain works really well fred...and also the pointing at the learning from what is already in us..waiting to be discovered..there's much more inner strength than we're aware of at times i think

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    1. Thanks Claudia, the learning what's inside us is a big part of the song. Thanks

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