atop charred earth, decisions remain
when foliage stays,
does our soil yet still grow?
Trampling beasts
hunted, scared
as
herds of men
frolic near
Ensiferous
and cruel
the blades weep
for outcomes likely due
Stained
by
the spots
we grow
Shedding our skin thrice in life
the disconnected cord’s the
first
followed by the
innocence of youth—
here
is where mutations spread,
altering
the balances—
and the last to leave
is
the transformation,
as
men, we’ll never see
this really takes off for me at sheding our skin thrice...the disconnected cord is the fist is a great line...and a bit of a somber touch to close...
ReplyDeletethe blades weep is so powerful.
ReplyDeletetoo bad war has to be bred at all.
Wow... fabulous write Fred. The last stanza is even shaped like an arrow head. My teen is reading a book right now and it's about a boy who knows he is 'different' from others. He was a clone of someone and he was planted inside a cow, for some reason. (It's sci-fi) So, I wonder how man will transform in a few more years from now.
ReplyDeleteWonderful writing once again.
There's a dystopian feel to this, despite the touches of the natural world--it's a natural world held at bay, and the ending is quietly terrifying. Love that. Implied--we may see it, but not as humans...also, bonus points for ensiferous.
ReplyDeleteAlmost see the field of men scattered here and there in colonies with the scatter of words. Shedding skin as stages, that's rather cool put like that. The outer side changes, deep inside it's still the same person, same soul. "War-Bred Kind" -- I agree because I think that is our tendency.
ReplyDeleteYou are making my night with the introduction of ensiferous! Shedding our skin thrice, great imagery and metaphor. Fine writing Fred, always a pleasure to read your work.
ReplyDeleteFred...again, all the unanswered questions that prompt so many pens to sort it all out through words. Alas, the mystery remains in those men we'll never see. Deep stuff that leads this mind to wonder, to ponder and reflect on this awesome weave! You rock! Hard-core! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah we surely are transformers in our own right, just as explosive too as we blow the crap out of one another, were as kids usually don't have that as they see the world way better than we do. Then we shed that and become way worse, unable to change back it seems. At least for many, always some that never fully go adult..lol
ReplyDeletewe're some strange sort of life warriors, aren't we..fighting our own battles and wonder how it all will end...nice write fred
ReplyDeletePoignant, and as mysterious as the way my first comment just disappeared. I'll try again...
ReplyDeleteFred..really like the 3 arrowed structure reflecting the 'Shedding our skin thrice in life' ~ much covered for such a small place of words, that end on the ultimate question .. like lots
ReplyDeletehey fred - coming in late like this i dont want to sound like a broken record - but i totally agree with hedge and anna - particularly the distopian vibe... i know your a movie buff like myself... i bet you see everything in movie terms also - this write put me in a Battle Royale space or something akin - battlefields... regardless i was engrossed in the imagery and headspace created - all the best bud :)
ReplyDeleteWhen foliage stays does our sell yet grow? - this conjured up images of war- the splintered tree stumps, the damp muddy earth- pooled with water...man sheds his skin over and over again- yet we never seem able to learn our lessons- great powerful writing
ReplyDeleteWhew, that ending; the final transformation! The transformation that, as men, we'll never see.
ReplyDeleteExtra points for sending me to the dictionary for "ensiferous".
Amazing. I've been thinking a lot about transformation lately. "Shedding our skin thrice in life" - fantastic summary right there. I also like how you played with the form of the poem.
ReplyDeleteAgain, you transform my vision of what is, creating a world where what I thought I knew now stands transformed.
ReplyDeleteLike primitive sacrifice.
ReplyDeletelove this, the form and format adding so much to your fabulous words... the transformations we will never see, the mystery that is life/death/life, nice!
ReplyDeletePowerful piece. Violence either takes us into that second transformation and/or is often played out there. And of course we're not there at all anymore after the third one.
ReplyDelete