Monday, April 23, 2012

Dusk's Lament


Lost in the cordial of afternoon
A somber fray consumes
the lingering of mourning

Escalations build
inside the cages
of a parting sun

Ignored in the evening breeze
are the rising tones
of never-wills and what-have-beens—

Altering each chain of choice
are muddied customs
too oft denied it’s voice

A dawning breath still speaks
of laziness and idle grief

Directionless yet reacquainted
a spirit of tomorrow

For what was lacking
has been replaced
by this loss we share

Shared alongside the wonderful poetry on display over at
 Imaginary Garden With Real Toads for Open Link Monday

11 comments:

  1. This has a very cadenced and solemn feel, suiting the subject, yet the language is full of light, as well as feeling almost weightless. The last stanza is simply wise and eloquent. Fine work, Fred.

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  2. I like your chains of thoughts specially these lines:

    Ignored in the evening breeze
    are the rising tones
    of never-wills and what-have-beens—

    Thanks for sharing them at RT ~

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  3. I agree with the above and would add that the first stanza blew me away!

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  4. Its nice to get lost in the "cordial of afternoon"...great line. Good feel and texture to this one, very purposeful in its movement. Great writing.

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  5. A solemnly atmospheric poem, awash in the bhues of twilight and the fading day.

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    Replies
    1. what was lacking was replaced by a common loss...that line struck a cord with me...but leaves me wondering if it is enough you know...def feel sombre in the reading....

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  6. Stuck in the fading joined in the lost, I suppose it is quite a feeling. Although I'd rather be lazy and go through it, get past it and be done with it. Not that much bothers me anyway, tends to happen when you're crazy..haha

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  7. What beautiful use of language! I really liked it!

    And thanks so much for participating in this week's Limerick-Off. I hope you'll be a frequent participant!

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  8. Ignored in the evening breeze
    are the rising tones
    of never-wills and what-have-beens— I especially love this. I don't linger on regret. It is like trying to rewind the sun...Great work!

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  9. As someone in the throes of grief, this poem resonates with me. An eloquent and insightful write!

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  10. ...the cordial of afternoon...

    It has such a sad feel to it... but I also detect hope. Nice.

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