Friday, April 27, 2012

Wandering With Another's Wardrobe

Stigmata scented
and poised to see
God’s forgiveness

Tired of what’s become
he hoped to change
these “fortunes”

He’s seen so much
yet knows so little
of meaning

Nature, nurture
to him a choice not provided
until this day

He kneeled before the altar
as he’d never done before—
         he realized he had no business to be

Clasping hands, similar
to how others had done many times
before the quenching song was sung

He had a speech all planned out
and like a lawyer he defensed his soul
with all the many reasons beyond his own control

He claimed he’d changed,
how different he’d become
and that’s when God appeared

Unfeeling and cold, he stayed knees to floor
knowing this all should resonate much, much more
but he also understood, if God returned, soon it all would

In an ancient and blessed tone,
psalms from Heaven filled the room
but muster a nod was all our hero could

As disrespecting as perhaps this might look
never once did God forsake his grace,
for he saw the tears stream down this man’s face

But before those drops could hit the ground
the sky opened to a basking love sent down,
and buried deep, the stolen soul is found

Eviscerated now, is the curse
         for even those so entrenched in sin
                  God can see the worth within

And the vampire may have lost his thirst
         but in so doing, he now had
 the chance to seek eternal life
This week for Poetics, the crew at D'Verse has asked each of us to create a poem that uses the vampire, either literally or figuratively, as the central figure/theme.  I just happened to post this piece yesterday and have decided to link it up with the other vampiric poems.  Head on over, enjoy what's been linked up, and while you're at it, perhaps you'll see the light and burst in a creative explosion of your own.  If you do, please share.  Cheers

In the recording I made some changes, mainly changing the narrator.

Proud to perform at Wednesday Open Mic with JohnnyK over at the River.  


  1. smiles....two things...first, someone sold you a secret didnt they? smiles...your poem contains the prompt for tomorrow at dverse...or perhaps its just fate..haha...

    nice bit of redemption in your words...and even the darkest soul can find its way home you know...smiles.

  2. From Brian's comment I am curious about the prompt. The mythology/symbolism of the vampire is one I haven't spent much time exploring, perhaps because it too often gets the horror movie treatment. After doing some reading this afternoon I discovered many interesting ideas I hadn't previously considered. Jung posits the Vampire archetype as the polar opposite of the Redemptive archetype and calls them two sides of one being in the collective unconscious. This poem, full of atonement and grace is quite striking. Thank you for the thought-provoking read.

  3. I am going to give Buffy a call or maybe the Winchesters or Blade too. We need to stop those vampires in their tracks. If God won't do it then we need help for it wil spur on the Twlight crap, that needs to stop. It must all this vampire crap needs to go away in a big gust. Oh now you made me was a way better look though as you showed the not so hollow vampire looking for the good once more.

  4. okay ... gone a different more redemptive direction than I was expecting, as chroma has detailed Jung's theory rather
    skilfully, I won't go there; this was well done and interesting ... food for thought

    for plain old vampire fare:

  5. I just finished a book called the Grim Reaper by Steve Alten. In it, he says that there has to be evil in this world for man to redeem himself because he can, right up to the moment he is about to die. God doesn't turn anyone away, even evil doers provided they cleanse themselves in the pureness of His light. It's a book all about the End days and the evil of a woman microbiologist who thinks she is saving the world by killing us all with a pandemic that she's created. Great story and this piece reminded me of it. That even bad people can be forgiven if they are really asking to be.
    Fabulous writing Fred. Thanks.

  6. This is a different take on the prompt, it reminds me of the final scene in the Bram Stoker's Dracula. Very nice!

  7. I had to laugh at the lawyer stanza, but what did it for me were the last two stanzas.

  8. Wow, coming back to this and listening to your recording, which is in first person, was intense. Vital poetry Fred, thank you.

  9. Interesting take as a metaphor for a sinner converted. Also, the audio reading adds a lot, even though you changed a few things.

  10. I like that he knelt and found himself. A different take on the dark side of vampires but redemptive and hopeful ~

  11. It's so rare to see a redemptive narrative for a vampire, that this poem stands out. Just when you thought you've read it all, you stumble over something like this. Good job.

  12. nice...i like how you're playing off the power of forgiveness and that there's a way out of evil for everyone...very cool ... and even cooler that you wrote it before you knew about the prompt..ha...nice

  13. I preferred the audio. Got across the emotions a whole lot better. The reading is probably more personal and sincere as first person than as third. The third does seem to work better read on page. I never knew this effect existed before, so that's interesting to me.

    Enjoyed the tale. Thanks. :)

  14. For mje this works well and is so cogent in its expression.

  15. So glad to see vampire come to his senses and knees. Enjoyed the story here. K.

  16. I love the fact that this vampire was able to find redemption, holds out a bit more hope for the rest of us! And that opening line "Stigmata scented" just reached out and grabbed me. So nicely done!

  17. Whew. This is a powerful piece, indeed. Nice work.

  18. I too find this interesting in the vampire seeking forgiveness and finding it. The way the myth works out in popular culture, of course, is that s/he uses their very existence to undermine the notion of either God's existence or his benevolence. Since if God exists then why so much evil? I do believe in some form of apokatastasis wherein all things, evil and good, are remade, so this rendition of the vampire who epitomizes evil seeking forgiveness resonates very powerfully with me. Your words once again are equal to the task of this variation on the theme.

  19. Definitely a twist on the old old story, but also a creative restatement of that other old old story, redemption. Nice,Fred.

  20. LOVE the writing (surprise) but love the character that is brought to life with the reading even more! Awesome...just that simple

  21. I really enjoyed listening to this. Your voice added mystery to the poem. Nicely done :)

  22. Yes...back for more! Again, the character brought goosebumps...(and between you, me and the fence post, I can hear you really rocking the METAL!!!!) Just fantastic, Fred!