Ahh..Tuesday. You all know what that means. Yep, another Open Link Night over at D'Verse. The ever-talented Natasha is tending bar and mixing drinks tonight. So head on over, imbibe upon the amazing poetry on display, and while you're there, share one of your own. Cheers.
For my offering tonight, you kind of need to listen to the recording to get the full gist of the piece. As the title suggests, there are numerous voices in the poem. I think I did a decent enough job with the various dialects I used, but I'd like to know, positive or negative, how they came out, especially for those of you in England, Scotland and Wales. You should hear five in total. It was a lot of fun putting together, hope you all enjoy. thanks.
Mobility
of Martian warlords
and
the unlucky marksman
that
couldn’t flee
Junked-up
edgy bugger
falling
away from home—a
polarity
of immolation, obfuscates
all
those rectangular sensei’s buried within
Echoic
in vibration
echoic
in tone
with
the words
that
first forced
sound—from
speckled lips the barker spews
Last
Call….
spinning still
last
Call
stumbling down
but
no one
and
I mean, the no one I could see
cared
enough about astronomy
to
hitch their rocketship to me
And
so I trip the sidewalk waltz,
thinking
of celebrity and the stars
in thirty-second spans
I
am who I know I am
One
part mandrake
two
petals squared
sup the milk
but
beware
of
the poppy dry—clean picked
hallucinations free to dream
of
a day yet appeared
where imagination becomes
blurred
replications of a knowledge plan
where
everything we’ve grown to understand
is
clear to see, the darkness drifting from the day
Until
those hours of conduction fashion such a stance
ennui
fills the chalice high
of the martyrs and the saints
the
masses and the clans
of all those ever dreaming as
drive
to dream out loud, to exclaim
for discovery and not for surprise
and
to do so
without
the ogling eye
of an effigy
who once
was determined
a man
So
until
such
a day
breathes
my air
I
will walk, as best I can,
with granite ankles
making concrete steps
across a universe
made of sand
Also, proud to share with all the brave poets participating at Wednesday Open Mic with JohnnyK at The River.
Also, proud to share with all the brave poets participating at Wednesday Open Mic with JohnnyK at The River.
wow...really enjoyed the reading fred...and a great poem as well...
ReplyDeleteI will walk, as best I can,
with granite ankles
making concrete steps
across a universe made of sand.... loved, loved, loved this...
Having lived in England, Scotland, Wales, and now in Canada. I can tell you that I heard the English accent there, a teeny bit of Scottish but, couldn't make out any others Fred. I enjoyed it very much though. Your English is much posher than my own...haha.. I'm nearly cockney and we don't sound our H's nor our end T's too much ...lol
ReplyDeleteVery clever piece of work and enjoyed it very much.
Oh, that's good to know. I play around with voice all the time, kinda weird I know, but fun. The Welsh bit, or what I was going for was very early, the first stanza or so. Yeah, the English is the one I did the most with, seeing I feel I can do it pretty well, then scottish, Irish, but I think my scottish and irish get mixed up a lot, then the other one I know was my own voice, which only appeared briefly. I love that you mentioned the H and T aspects of pronunciation, I'll probably play around with that idea. Thanks again, really appreciate the feedback.
DeleteWicked clever, I'm running off to teach so I'll be back later with a better comment - first impression - brilliant!
ReplyDeletedude...love your performance of this...and you need no one to hitch themselves to your star to make it go...once they do we tend to lose our own voice anyway...smiles...i think you did well with the dialect...a few times you briefly deviate from your written word but they work as well...i like the i know who i know who i am...
ReplyDeleteyeah, mixing the dialect up was difficult, as I tried to do it seamlessly. I made a few mistakes and just rerecorded, but then I caught myself on the deviations a few times as I was saying the new word or words, and then there was a time or two I did it on purpose. Thanks. I appreciate the feedback.
Deletelol and my reader got the last 20 posts again today...
ReplyDeletehaha, that means it'll be current for a day or two before google freezes me up again. Thanks for letting me know.
Deletehahaha oh playing with the dialects was fun, sound a bit buggered up, as you've had one to many like some bloody wanker...LOL..couldn't help myself. Really like the ending as well, pushing on no matter the restraints.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed listening to your audio reading...Very dramatic as I always enjoy the spoken words...I like the last stanza the best...an enjoyable read ~
ReplyDeleteFRED!!! Would I make you blush if I told you I am absolutely loving your readings...in any accent! I think this is fantastic, and big ups for stepping to the mic! Open Mic link up tomorrow at The River...you HAVE to link this! (I'm going 80's Rap vibe...don't judge!)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to add performance artist to your "about" blurb, Fred. Enjoyed this well-thought-out work. You are so talented.
ReplyDeleteClever and good. Thought the ending was perfect.
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing work! The style is unique actually love! I enjoy your work, it is fresh and inspiring and extremely mind boggling lol In a good way!!! Shall re-read, wow! xoxo
ReplyDeletePS The reading of this is AWESOME!!! EPIC! xoxo
ReplyDelete'jumped up edgy bugger'- really liked this stanza- an accent and dialect familiar to me! Digging the written form as well....sloping, rocking, side to side....interesting and hooked me in
ReplyDeleteA tour-de-force performance! I lived in Wales for a few years and one of my regrets is I never picked up the Welsh accent - not even a smidgen. So your Welsh is definitely much better than mine.
ReplyDeleteLoving it even more!!! Thanks so much for linking up! :) Have to share again!
ReplyDeleteLove your imagery here, and word choices but I really, really dig the structure. The way it slides and rolls over the page, a most wonderful effect.
ReplyDeleteGreat write here.
The sounds and the architecture of this are really intriguing. It seems a poem about self-affirmation in a world verging on some form of machine apocalypse, yet the statement of selfhood at the end is very proud, strong, sure amid uncertainty. While you talk of obfuscating voices, there's a voice that rises above the haze, and it speaks of solid awareness.
ReplyDeleteGreat audio presentation, Fred! The different dialect offering makes it a joy to listen. It creates a sense of mystic around it. It takes an effort to comprehend Welsh but worth the listening. A great write too!
ReplyDeleteHank
what a great reading! the voices had me on the edge of my seat. each scene was dripping with fascinating images via delectable word choices. great job, Fred!
ReplyDelete