Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Polarity of Obfuscating Voices


Ahh..Tuesday.  You all know what that means. Yep, another Open Link Night over at D'Verse.  The ever-talented Natasha is tending bar and mixing drinks tonight.  So head on over, imbibe upon the amazing poetry on display, and while you're there, share one of your own.  Cheers.

For my offering tonight, you kind of need to listen to the recording to get the full gist of the piece.  As the title suggests, there are numerous voices in the poem.  I think I did a decent enough job with the various dialects I used, but I'd like to know, positive or negative, how they came out, especially for those of you in England, Scotland and Wales.  You should hear five in total.  It was a lot of fun putting together, hope you all enjoy. thanks.

Mobility of Martian warlords
and the unlucky marksman
that couldn’t flee

Junked-up edgy bugger
falling away from home—a
polarity of immolation, obfuscates
all those rectangular sensei’s buried within

Echoic in vibration
echoic in tone
with the words
that first forced
sound—from speckled lips the barker spews

Last Call….
                  spinning still
last Call
                  stumbling down
but
         no one
and I mean, the no one I could see
cared enough about astronomy
to hitch their rocketship to me

And so I trip the sidewalk waltz,
thinking of celebrity and the stars
         in thirty-second spans
I am who I know I am

One part mandrake
two petals squared
         sup the milk
but beware
of the poppy dry—clean picked
         hallucinations free to dream
of a day yet appeared
         where imagination becomes
blurred replications of a knowledge plan
where everything we’ve grown to understand
is clear to see, the darkness drifting from the day
        
Until those hours of conduction fashion such a stance
ennui fills the chalice high
         of the martyrs and the saints
the masses and the clans
                  of all those ever dreaming as drive
 to dream out loud, to exclaim
         for discovery and not for surprise

and to do so
without
the ogling eye
         of an effigy
who once
was determined
a man

So
until
such a day
breathes my air
I will walk, as best I can,
         with granite ankles
                  making concrete steps
                           across a universe made of sand


Also, proud to share with all the brave poets participating at Wednesday Open Mic with JohnnyK at The River.

22 comments:

  1. wow...really enjoyed the reading fred...and a great poem as well...

    I will walk, as best I can,
    with granite ankles
    making concrete steps
    across a universe made of sand.... loved, loved, loved this...

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  2. Having lived in England, Scotland, Wales, and now in Canada. I can tell you that I heard the English accent there, a teeny bit of Scottish but, couldn't make out any others Fred. I enjoyed it very much though. Your English is much posher than my own...haha.. I'm nearly cockney and we don't sound our H's nor our end T's too much ...lol
    Very clever piece of work and enjoyed it very much.

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    1. Oh, that's good to know. I play around with voice all the time, kinda weird I know, but fun. The Welsh bit, or what I was going for was very early, the first stanza or so. Yeah, the English is the one I did the most with, seeing I feel I can do it pretty well, then scottish, Irish, but I think my scottish and irish get mixed up a lot, then the other one I know was my own voice, which only appeared briefly. I love that you mentioned the H and T aspects of pronunciation, I'll probably play around with that idea. Thanks again, really appreciate the feedback.

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  3. Wicked clever, I'm running off to teach so I'll be back later with a better comment - first impression - brilliant!

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  4. dude...love your performance of this...and you need no one to hitch themselves to your star to make it go...once they do we tend to lose our own voice anyway...smiles...i think you did well with the dialect...a few times you briefly deviate from your written word but they work as well...i like the i know who i know who i am...

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    1. yeah, mixing the dialect up was difficult, as I tried to do it seamlessly. I made a few mistakes and just rerecorded, but then I caught myself on the deviations a few times as I was saying the new word or words, and then there was a time or two I did it on purpose. Thanks. I appreciate the feedback.

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  5. lol and my reader got the last 20 posts again today...

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    1. haha, that means it'll be current for a day or two before google freezes me up again. Thanks for letting me know.

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  6. hahaha oh playing with the dialects was fun, sound a bit buggered up, as you've had one to many like some bloody wanker...LOL..couldn't help myself. Really like the ending as well, pushing on no matter the restraints.

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  7. I enjoyed listening to your audio reading...Very dramatic as I always enjoy the spoken words...I like the last stanza the best...an enjoyable read ~

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  8. FRED!!! Would I make you blush if I told you I am absolutely loving your readings...in any accent! I think this is fantastic, and big ups for stepping to the mic! Open Mic link up tomorrow at The River...you HAVE to link this! (I'm going 80's Rap vibe...don't judge!)

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  9. I think you need to add performance artist to your "about" blurb, Fred. Enjoyed this well-thought-out work. You are so talented.

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  10. Clever and good. Thought the ending was perfect.

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  11. This is amazing work! The style is unique actually love! I enjoy your work, it is fresh and inspiring and extremely mind boggling lol In a good way!!! Shall re-read, wow! xoxo

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  12. PS The reading of this is AWESOME!!! EPIC! xoxo

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  13. 'jumped up edgy bugger'- really liked this stanza- an accent and dialect familiar to me! Digging the written form as well....sloping, rocking, side to side....interesting and hooked me in

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  14. A tour-de-force performance! I lived in Wales for a few years and one of my regrets is I never picked up the Welsh accent - not even a smidgen. So your Welsh is definitely much better than mine.

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  15. Loving it even more!!! Thanks so much for linking up! :) Have to share again!

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  16. Love your imagery here, and word choices but I really, really dig the structure. The way it slides and rolls over the page, a most wonderful effect.

    Great write here.

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  17. The sounds and the architecture of this are really intriguing. It seems a poem about self-affirmation in a world verging on some form of machine apocalypse, yet the statement of selfhood at the end is very proud, strong, sure amid uncertainty. While you talk of obfuscating voices, there's a voice that rises above the haze, and it speaks of solid awareness.

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  18. Great audio presentation, Fred! The different dialect offering makes it a joy to listen. It creates a sense of mystic around it. It takes an effort to comprehend Welsh but worth the listening. A great write too!

    Hank

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  19. what a great reading! the voices had me on the edge of my seat. each scene was dripping with fascinating images via delectable word choices. great job, Fred!

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