Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Mistress of the Eve

It's tuesday once again, and that means the bar is open over at D'Verse for Open Link Night.  Stop on by, check out some great poetry and while you're there submit one of your own.


Shades of thyme, a wake in
The missed stress of the eave

She butchers breath at the lip
She stutter-steps the blood to drip

Slow lea erased
Slow lea
A loan to keep her guard in place
The missed stress of the eave
A strained grass widow leaves

To those who did not know
To those who cared not to
Oft thinly labeled her
Whore… Ur-Tare her,
Cull lapsed; she died
A rash on all

But the missed stress of the eave
Until then,
Always rose above them all



15 comments:

  1. love the wordplay in this...and love how you give her dignity..

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    1. Thanks Claudia, glad you enjoyed the piece, I have a few more wordplay writes in store for the next few days, went on a bit of a wordplay way. And the dignity, well that I just had to do. Thanks

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  2. Fred, this is so cool. I love the use of the homonyms. There's an Irishy-gaelic aspect to the more rarified usages, which, of course, creates this wonderful dark mood. Butching breath at the lip, the stutter-steps--very cool aside from all those eaves. K.

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    1. Manic, thanks, I saw that gaelic feel in here myself when I was reviewing it, wasn't really intended, just kind of came out that way, but really glad to see I wasn't the only one thinking along those lines. Thanks.

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  3. Nice use of language skills to bring across her feelings. Liked the sound of this one at play, a creepy feel indeed too. Nice!

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  4. hey fred

    this write has great shape and style

    the word play is excellent and the tone tragic but with bite and room to sneer...

    being in the gutter and starring at the stars - two seperate things brother...

    nice work ;)

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  5. I was a bit ...slow lea to catch on about the clever word play too, but, very, very nicely and expertly well done.

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  6. The homonym is a very underused device--it's just stunning here, Fred, the way you've made it speak so many ways, so many images. Liltingly, too, with that sort of brogue others have mentioned. But its the images that stick with me, the mistressed eve, the irrational.

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  7. she died a rash on all...great line there fred...hey you have a pic...and a full name...sorry i got sdistracted there for a minute...great word play too...like how you break them down....

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  8. Interesting language, powerful piece... enjoyed it!

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  9. Great poem, awesome use of wordplay. I had to re-read the "Slow lea" bit a few times, lol. I just love "Cull lapsed" and "A rash on all". Well done.

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  10. Really liked the imagery and the wordplay in this poem!

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  11. Loved the word play .... I have a friend who'd love this piece. And the ending was great!

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  12. I do love wordplay as well, and rhis took me some time to catch on. Good job, kinda reminding me now a little of cummings. But this is a bit more primeval, closer to a darker self of ee maybee.

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  13. Scintillating wordplay and tragedy here too... top form Fred. Thanks for this 'un man

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