Saturday, November 5, 2011

Invisible Days

The extracts,
In combination,
Distort rEaLiTiEs

Time slips coma
Weaving dream
Focus shift
to blurring
Searing sockets
Eyes red from strain

the cause is unknown

Portent patter
Filament's coal
Side-arm empty
Broken cypher

Staring into what

Clouds pasture
uninhibited fringe of
devouring the seconds

You awake
In the middle of the day, (feels like night)

You awake
Still exhausted, (despite all the hours)

You awake
Not knowing
Where you are
What you're doing

The days

Barely a form
as lines fade

Then you are
The one you were
for how long
Who knows.

But the pain reminds you
of all the hours lapsed
Just waiting for sleepers
to fall


  1. nice....surreal but right at the edge of reality...the burning eyes...nice word play in rEaLiTiEs as well...ha...invisible the days grow...and slip passed faster and faster...

  2. This has a floating sadness, the shifts, broken cypher, the clouds, all add to the atmosphere. With the confusion of day and night, the exhaustion and disorientation add to the sense of dissolution. Where is the self? What's real? The pain acts like an anchor as does the second to last stanza. The diction and style fit the themes so well, great writing Fred.

  3. Damn sounds like someone needs to get themselves a GPS hahaha and Drazin feels your pain, he just can't seem to get those cat slippers..hahaha..oh it was sleepers you say? whoops guess Drazin got confused. Great piece, oh where my mind went..haha

  4. happy belated birthday fred!!!!! and now i'm reading your poem..

  5. wow - really like the mood in this piece...surreal as bri states above is a good word for it...dreamy...detached...investigating deep within..much enjoyed this

  6. I can relate to this one because it happens to me. It's like how sometimes you are not sure what day it is, and how the previous day passed. Was yesterday the day before or earlier today? And how one is just sitting and seemingly just staring, sometimes at the television and not watching it, sometimes out the window and not really looking at anything. Can't seem to focus on any task exactly. I find it a bit distressing, time wasted slipping away, maybe I'm just not entirely satisfied and don't know where to go.

  7. Well done and disturbing piece.

  8. Thanks to everyone. This piece is about loss and there is definitely a sadness among that. This type of things seems to happen way too often for me, just a way too quick elapse of time for me, really does seem like their are missing or invisible parts of the day. Anyhow, thanks for all your responses. Awesome feedback again. Thanks