Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Intermittence of Rainfall ( Directionless Dreaming)

Pianos tripping,   

Overlays the distraction of
A variant shower’s stolen scene
Someplace in the background’s distant frame

Minutia’s outstretched legs
Coveting the space between

Within each the hour’s spent
The cruelty contained
As minutes suffer
The seconds blur
Spiked and dull,

As train-wrecks abound,
Yet hands still clutch
Throttle’s down

It’s somber symphony
Ever playing, soft and slow

Disturbing repetition
The briefly quelled
Eyelids beckon

Of sleep appears
The renewing curse

*quick note:  the piece can be read in either direction, but is meant to be started with the last line and read backwards to the top.  The poem can move in either direction, or so I made that attempt.  What I was going for was to play around with placement, and just see how this notion of placement can alter meaning.  Anyhow, just saying.


  1. Wow it does work forwards and back, going all Memento at your shack. I thought of doing this at some point too, but it has yet to come due. I wouldn't have known to read it backwards without the note though and it does make a whole lot more sense to me with it's backwards flow. Nicely done! Backwards is such fun.

  2. ok you def win the cool creative badge for today...that is very cool...i think it reads cleaner bottom to this took a bit man...very cool...

  3. Something a little haunting and surreal about this... delivered well, it drew me in. The fact that the poem can be read forwards and backwards is just so damn clever. Did that take long to get right? I personally would not c capitalise the beginnings of lines in any modern poetry, it hampers the flow line-line (esp w enjambment); almost all modern poets don't use caps except after a period etc. I only use them occasionally, eg if writing in an old form and the tone/diction is also somewhat archaic (less and less, then...).

    Fine piece, cheers

    1. Luke, thanks I appreciate the thoughts. Actually I must confess, I actually hate caps at the starts of lines, but i must have an internal issue, as when I'm writing the piece on word, those lines underneath drive me insane, so i just keep them set as they are with caps, always do mean to take them out once I get into blogger but never bother, time et al… When I submit to journals and magazines I always, well not in every case, but you get what I mean, avoid the caps in most instances. As for the archaic tone, I purposely use it a lot, probably more than I should, but I just find the way the words look and sound in such cases to be cool as heck, guess a bit of all the ancient books I've read over the years- but yeah, I hear ya. Really appreciate the feedback. Thanks

  4. This poem did take a bit of time to do, actually the idea of what I wanted to say didn't take too long, but to get the piece to read both ways did, there were a lot of instances where it read backwards fine, but then a word just wasn't right going the normal direction, so had to play around with words and what not. In fact the overlays line still bugs me, spent a while at that point, but couldn't find something better than it. Thanks really glad you guys enjoyed the piece