The
forecast’s often are birthed in unwanted severity—
The
pictures that forever play upon the never-ending reel within my mind are images
no man should ever bear—it is a depicted reality that you truly believe could
not play out any worse
And
yet it does open the door for future suffering—the exciting looks upon those
who dare me cast deep into their pools, to fish out hope in a sea of
undeserving possibility—only to watch all sentiment of reason for being to
deflate instantaneously to my very words—somehow ousts the depravity of the
vision’s themselves
I’m
truly sorry, I really am
perhaps
I could lie; perhaps such untruths would be both merciful and generous—I
suppose packaging the ugly realities with pretty bows and exaggerations, could
do a service—
Seeing
the future churns the stomach weaker, as each image
takes
you into another’s soul—where forced you are, to watch, to understand, how an
individual’s fate unfolds—you are left then, being only able to report the
consequence and never able to change
the
facet’s or the facts. I am powerless in all regards, yet, to some,
I’m
lauded as if I’m some type of God—
Mankind
so very wishes to understand each premonition that hovers deftly above their
vessel, but what they do not care to understand, is the utter strain it is
bearing witness to such horrible events, which, I must, in most instances,
unfortunately report as one would the evening news—where death and devastation
are all too common the thematic realities, future’s seen, that I wish I’d never
dream
Yet,
there then are those extremely rare and special cases, the kinds that are covered
in lilies and rainbows, who’s wonderfully formed innocence, prance around a
garden of delight, entirely open and receptive to all the flavors purity
offers—and I see them waving their hellos with the happiest of smiles and even
when the end is what the vision’s suggest, there is not regret painted upon
such sights, there are no wrenching moments of tormenting scowls to cause
streaming floods of agonizing reality—there are but calm and peaceful moments
of acceptance, of those souls fully prepared to take their invitation to join
the feast the maker’s justly presented in their honor—it’s these scenes, these
scents of purity cast from within the painted lights, that rekindled what
potential I’d seemingly mistaken for penance, igniting within me, a reason to
believe once more, an understanding of why I see
It
is from a desire not to know, for I know, above any other, how dangerous such
learning can offer those unprepared to understand—it takes a rare breed to take
acceptance by her hand and walk peacefully, without regret ever shading the
pathway, into a bathing light so in-tune and aligned with destiny, a destiny where
you must simply believe in your guide as being your ultimate defense, your
safe-keeper in whatever might come next—you must give yourself over to her
completely, allow faith to outrank any sense your mortal life had previously
instructed you to grasp
It
is, partially out of fear, partially out of a commitment to let events play out
their natural course, to believe fully that destiny is not as predetermined as
my life’s work would otherwise dictate and suggest…and of course, there are
many more reasons for such an opinion, reasons beyond the scope of oneself—it
is in part, for such reasons and more, that I have removed all mirrors and
other like-minded reflective devices from my immediacy, for to know ones fate
is unnatural, to see into one’s very own eyes and peer deeply upon the soul is
a vision I fret to know, a sight I care never to see, until, of course, the
finality has thrust it’s sword firmly within me…to which I can only pray to
have the strength of being, to extend my hand, with every ounce of
determination that remains available to me then and there, and accept what
shall be, and leave this battlefield accepting that what’s been, and what shall
be, as a choice I’ve played a role in relating, one that can truly offer more
than any premonition could ever explain away
very interesting thoughts in this... esp. that part touched me...It is, partially out of fear, partially out of a commitment to let events play out their natural course, to believe fully that destiny is not as predetermined as my life’s work would otherwise dictate and suggest... i think we have a free will and can influence things a lot...for good and for bad likewise...and learn by the mistakes we make and live with the consequences of how we decided to walk these paths..
ReplyDeleteReally delving into the deep mind thought today. Destiny and such is a rather complex thing to think of at times, what is the point in doing anything if it is already decided, but then if doing nothing prevents it, I guess it can be stopped. Lots of issues with it for sure.
ReplyDeleteYou really got into the skin of your narrator here, Fred--the burden is palpable, and yet the rewards seem commensurate with the pain...I don't know that seeing forward would actually be any good to us at all, it does seem like a burden, but perhaps looking far enough, and broadly enough is indeed some kind of cure for the pettiness of our mortality. Enjoyed this much, my friend.
ReplyDeleteSeeing the future churns the stomach weaker, as each image -> this is how I feel about past life therapy...makes you rethink your life, sometimes, often, in a way not beneficial
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a Cassandra - a terrible burden - she was the one who'd know the future but no one would believe her. Related to Oedipus? K.
ReplyDeleteMercy! It must be a huge burden to have those kind of gifts. I'm pretty intuitive and there are times I wish I didn't pick up on things. This is written as though it is your experience. Very powerful, Fred.
ReplyDeleteok i am back...is the volume on the reading really low? i can barely hear it and i have my speakers all the way up...heavy thoughts man...esp the removal of the mirrors so as not to look at ones eyes...i think they keep me honest actually...i def dont think i would want to know the future...without what it takes to get there, i wonder if we would really understand it...
ReplyDeleteA powerful and good write.
ReplyDelete