A
thirsty beggar does not choose
To
exist in such a parched state,
And
would take, water, milk or booze,
To
remedy, their arid fate,
A
feeling they very much hate,
That
when a quenching is thus found,
Sadly,
they do not hesitate
their
sips, and sadly such, they drown
This
week, for Form-For-All, Gemma Wiseman presents us with the Huitain form, an
eight-line poem, with each line having 8-10 syllables, and an overall rhyme
scheme of A, B, A, B, B, C, B, C. Head
on over to D’Verse; read Gemma’s excellent article, where you’ll learn all
about the form. Explore all the Huitain’s
composed by the community of poets, and hey, why not try your hand at this
form, and then share by linking up with D’Verse. Cheers!!!
def agree with the opening lines...we do not always choose fate, it finds us...and sometimes it is hard to deal with surely...
ReplyDeleteAh, the perils of not sipping...yet I can understand the desire to quench that thirst.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Too bad booze would only screw the beggar up more, but if it was enough booze he may feel better for a while or at least feel happy or more sappy or just more yappy like a certain Flappy..haha
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of truth in your huitain.
ReplyDeleteand sadly such, they drown...yep..they drown indeed.. and it's a slow death.. well penned fred
ReplyDeleteThis is outstanding, Fred! I love it!
ReplyDeleteWhat no comments yet for this fine huitain! Very well done..it presents us with a clear truth, a metaphor for being starved of a thing once, we can easily over-indulge later. It applies to so many things. Beautifully realized in this short poem. Exceptionally well done!
ReplyDelete"thirsty", "parched", "arid" and "quenching" thread a wonderful set of images in contrast with the final "drown" moment! Dramatic!
ReplyDeleteSo often the wrong the sipping is the wrong thing; but in a way I understand it, as their lives have so little that to sip the booze at least makes life tolerable for a time (until the next sip). You worked the Huitain form well.
ReplyDeleteNice metaphor for so much in life. Well done.
ReplyDeleteNice double meanings, and a nicely turned huitain, Fred. It's almost like a parable in feel. Being driven to them makes bad choices no less bad in effect, and the not choosing is even worse.
ReplyDeleteLove the close Fred- about not wanting to quench a thirst so badly there is a danger of drowning....great sentiment and kill fully explored within the form...
ReplyDeleteNice way of putting it,Fred! We often succumb to our wants without being properly prepared and we regret sometimes. Nice take!
ReplyDeleteHank