Saturday, December 22, 2012


I can’t help but feel
The douter nears
My flame.

“Time’s just ain’t a –changin’ the way I thought they would.  I blinked and here I am, seventeen years since first able to legally imbibe, and now, I don’t anymore…speaks upon how priorities are skewed early on in life”

And now

I just wonder and wonder and think about how I can wonder

I’ll meander the aisle-ways at the superstores, looking for deals or just people watching, to kill some time…sometimes though, a thought while strikethrough my stagnancy…a true brainchild of inspiration…a method or a way out of what…

all sensors working, all lights a-flashing, so, so encouraged…filled with anticipation and excitement….

Only to relive…to be relieved by the exact same moment of euphoria, just a few days later…

Time is a pit of quicksand and sometimes you have a vine to pull you out and other time’s it’s nothing but a snake, dangling, right in front of you, tempting you, to grab ahold and let it pull you out

Days merge into decades as easily as hair changes brown to a trickling in of grey and you wonder-you wonder, much differently than you would while blanketed by sweet

11:55, service will start soon
I’m just trying
To make sure
God still lives in here,
Would hate to
Stumble upon
Any more
black masses,
      not to come
I find myself listening 
to every 

At least that shows I still know what pathetic looks like. ONly wish I could divine it 
as I stare each whisker down in the morning mirror, then perhaps, then perhaps
I can stave off elimination for another hour or two
just enough time to make it... yet another case for myself,
and hope to find 
the hand that will guide me down the path, 
and not become distracted 
by those sales in 
                         the bargain racks

wonder if having a semblance of what faith really is when you don't enact on it, just letting it be part of the background scenery

When the douter comes to snuff my flame…I wonder what excuse I will then choose to blame?


  1. hope to find
    the hand that will guide me down the path,
    and not become distracted
    by those sales in
    the bargain racks

    really nice phrase there...and dang haunting end to this man...who will i blame...sure enough of that to go around..

  2. Not many deals seem to show worth a damn, but the people watching can be great and gives a post. Did it the other day and some real loons came into play.

    One had to have 52 cans of soup, they only had 51 of the kind she liked and it ha to be 52, no idea why, but it just had to be and she kicked up a huge fuss..haha

  3. Interesting questions raised and ideas ruminated upon... closing where you began rounds it off nicely. We all have excuses and go down that route at times... I think you capture this state of mind very well... the uncertainty, doubt, feeling helpless in it all. Cheers, great piece