Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lost. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Damned Beggars In The Cold


Hither, dither, tither, fro
To, from, stern, aft, glimmer—glow
Worm, wiggle, writhe, fizzle, frazzle, frown and flow
Gather, grip, gasp, ingratiate, growl, scowl, scuttle and sew
Huddle, hurdler, cuddle, curdle, crackle, cackle and crow
Tipsy, teetotaler, tricky, tacky, terabyte, in spite of the stow
Baggage, boggle, bigot, burden, blast of butter, battery blown

Excess verbiage, nominatives under intense scrutiny, collaborate in a circular procession, each participle eagerly awaiting the punctuations incorrect stressor given a home

Slanted in bias, burgeoned, beckoning, blossoming, stratosphere, diameter crossing points of axis unseen, over-plotted, pollutants of the year, curdling inwards like the ravaging bug, the insect, the slug, the tremors of the soul, catching kitschy curmudgeon fever, like the protestation of an alleviation in disarray, sorrow for the sparrow clipped of wing wrung clandestinely clean, clinging to, ovarian theories overtly consumed by endeavor’s angular shaped cocoon-like debris.

Abrasive. Codes are difficult to cipher when patterns seem to exist symbolically, being becomes the cogent key that is swiped away from beneath the bed or hidden in plain sight, as does the seizures seized from gaping stares of those human zombies forever hovering in the red—the clamor, of a clandestine affair amidst tryst—and this is too, often too conveniently placed, underneath the welcome mat, where instead of finding your grand idea, a key from which to swallow and flee, there lay superlatives for observation.  And that is what you do, observe, then observe some more, observe until you are found, once again, with both flat feet on the tile floor, frozen in space and in someone’s perverse covenant with time—here, where, if having been locked out, arrested straight, out of and into a state of alternate being, than perhaps, the concept of the access will purge it’s promise upon someone, some one who, in someway, defines the definition of regenerative decay, a speck, dot, pixelated subjugate, a daughter of celibacy, a candid ripple in the wavelength, a freak storm over nowhere, nowhere at all—giving vitality to the invisible, those personas who’re somewhat akin, to all the eager admonishing razed upon the soot stained cheeks of the underprivileged capable of only stock replies—the type given by those who’ve never had things turn their way, those that find themselves stuck, in a miring magnate of magnanimous muck, in the middle of a processing plant, a marsh, a wasteland of existence, a sinkhole belching a verbose bellowing buckled over and then upon the expanding waistline of a gluttonous nation of indebtedness and adiposity.

What follows is often an infringement of some sort.  Patents blatantly placed upon intellectual property— protean, vigor, voluminous vanishing points, hollow, like the thesis based, in part, on the bland redundancy of an ignorant smudge, too easily erased, too easily wiped away forever without a trace of it’s postulation—the very same reasons as to why it was ignored, overlooked in favor for, a brand-new pet rock for cousin Roy. 

Posture is granted. The seeds have been sown. Violent trestles toss about, in the ballasts of a broken fist, where balance becomes but another prop, to the tawdry supply, set up and staged by, a backstage broker who renders hell upon the peons he feels he feeds all too well. A blood feud begins with the pennies in the filthy fountain—fuel for the animalistic fellows furrowed in lines a-stream this cobbled cove—a furlough became a game, a torrid cruelty where only the miser is left unashamed.

“Ain’t misbehaving, if the conductor says ok”
 Is acceptable, so says the beggar’s son.

 “Ain’t misportraying if the backstory so old ‘tis’ like the story’s ain’t never been done’,”

and broken down, gladly dreaming of the wasteful sot, delivering the curb some hand-me-downs”. 

“Ain’t a crime to accepting what’s been thrown,” It’s just what it is, as is. And it Ain’t indecent to feast upon scraps, if our last meal is dated unknown—


Fatuous verse.  Infatuation can occur; in the same manner intoxication can render oneself unstable.  By the toxicity in the streams of essay, the words bleed terrific, like the dream fading as the currents blur away the pains we’ve since adjusted to their modes.

I am just another eye. Or so it appears and so it seems, in seam, I stitch together, the adages and false contrition’s never said.  I’m simply one who talks out loud, whether alone or simply one faceless grin amongst a healthy crowd. In another time, in a separate space, I like to think, that my verse alone would be understood and could make a difference in some other nation, in some other land.

 Upon the patchwork of this earthbound soul, smiles are that rarity unapologetic to the many left to launder in the cold—in the grand scheme of impression, the stitch that ties us through, is having the recognition we’re so owed, after all…after all…aren’t we due something better, than to simply be known alone, as the damned beggars in the cold?


Saturday, December 22, 2012

Snuffed




I can’t help but feel
The douter nears
My flame.

“Time’s just ain’t a –changin’ the way I thought they would.  I blinked and here I am, seventeen years since first able to legally imbibe, and now, I don’t anymore…speaks upon how priorities are skewed early on in life”

And now

I just wonder and wonder and think about how I can wonder
and….think

I’ll meander the aisle-ways at the superstores, looking for deals or just people watching, to kill some time…sometimes though, a thought while strikethrough my stagnancy…a true brainchild of inspiration…a method or a way out of what…

all sensors working, all lights a-flashing, so, so encouraged…filled with anticipation and excitement….

Only to relive…to be relieved by the exact same moment of euphoria, just a few days later…

Time is a pit of quicksand and sometimes you have a vine to pull you out and other time’s it’s nothing but a snake, dangling, right in front of you, tempting you, to grab ahold and let it pull you out

Days merge into decades as easily as hair changes brown to a trickling in of grey and you wonder-you wonder, much differently than you would while blanketed by sweet
sweet 
oblivion.

11:55, service will start soon
I’m just trying
To make sure
God still lives in here,
Would hate to
Stumble upon
Any more
black masses,
where
 as 
      not to come
off 
     as 
rude,
I find myself listening 
to every 
god-forsaken
word

At least that shows I still know what pathetic looks like. ONly wish I could divine it 
as I stare each whisker down in the morning mirror, then perhaps, then perhaps
I can stave off elimination for another hour or two
just enough time to make it... yet another case for myself,
and hope to find 
the hand that will guide me down the path, 
and not become distracted 
by those sales in 
                         the bargain racks

wonder if having a semblance of what faith really is when you don't enact on it, just letting it be part of the background scenery

When the douter comes to snuff my flame…I wonder what excuse I will then choose to blame?



Wednesday, February 1, 2012

In Blank Stare


Aligned nowhere
The times have changed
The criteria’s rearranged
I’m left in blank stare

My memories of you
Are bent, my thoughts are lost
As you aren’t similar to the one I once knew

Your memories of me
Erased from within
As if I never existed previously

Two sides to a coin
Head to heart
Tails we start
Always disconnected, forever conjoined

The sand has shifted below
The storm’s splitting in
Dissociation just won’t let go
So again…in hell we swim

Friday, March 25, 2011

The Readiness (and then She happened)

The Readiness was there, it was everywhere

Magnetic, is how she happened,
An alternating essence, evolving every layer,
Dissolving suicidal cravings,
I knew, there right then, God indeed has plans for men,
 Over built and destructive to the soul, the dilemma quite atrocious,
When the creator has cradled his project,
Would not assign responsibilities to his team,
Then when the funding cut,
He had his baby but not much of what he did,
The razor was vertical,
Inches from impact,
Sweat tore holes through once distinguished clothes,
Quivering, twitching, having the hardest time steadying,
Then the cavalry marched on in,
Sent his son and daughter away for the weekend,
Couldn’t let them be the first to see,
Yet it appears his son left behind a piece of him,
The phone which some believed attached to his hand,
Perhaps it was not the moment, he may return before they came,
So instead he would choose to deliver the phone to him,
Then alone he could be, with his deadliest intention,
But as you know, as you’ve been tipped off to,
The best laid plans often fall right through,
On the path back home,
His children’s faces, they way they presented themselves,
Right there, at that time,
It’s like they were cognizant in an unfathomable way,
Perhaps his melodramatic words gave him away,
Perhaps, but as you know things don’t end this way,
Roads of tar, one way out,
Due to construction, a different avenue back,
A street one block over,
Could have been in California,
All this time, each day since passed,
This feeling so close,
A smile crept upon his face,
Puffy thoughts could not escape,
Random stumbling of the words,
Music loud, if you knew him, you too would find it absurd,
But all of this had fine reason,
Shaking feet, sweaty hands,
Veins screaming for injection,
Injection of her again,
And so begins a tale we all thought was done,
Yet through some well timed twists of fate,
This man shall experience, a truly new, a reason to be,
He shall embark upon a brand new second life, a season filled only with varying speeds

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Reckoning

Longitude, latitude,
Ecclesiastics, Corinthians,
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,
No garden to landscape
No hallowed ground,
No trees with fruit so edible
I’d be willing to sacrifice eternity
No wisdom could convince me,
No universal enlightenment
To play the fool upon my soul,

Cancer, Capricorn,
North Pole, Equator,
Desert of sand and lack of thirst,
The heat of the moment
Is much hotter than I imagined,
I visualize them still,
Vultures swimming circles
Above me in that hazy desert air,

Bitter tasting and repeating
Are the aftermaths and unpleasantries
Of uncooked shellfish and undercooked meat,
Nonetheless, devoured and digested, a quarter past the hour,
And that was days ago.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Orange

I was followed home one afternoon,
As the sun was bathing the foliage, keeping it company, keeping it warm,
The days grow cooler, and would soon be cold, the days shorter, and the nighttime long,

A cat, orange and malnourished,
Maybe it was someone’s pet
That got lost and couldn’t find a way to return,
A few scars, a patch of hair missing
I noticed as it weaved its body between these legs of mine,

I felt bad, maybe even identified,
The first few nights I left a can of tuna, and a bowl of milk,
Inside the garage and out of the cold,

I thought I’d awake and find it had gone,
I created this scenario where it jumped up high,
Into an ever elated nervous owners arms,
My visions never play out,
So a few cans later,
As the temperature declined,
I opened up the door
And let this creature become a friend of mine,
And orange will have to be its name