I can’t help but feel
The douter nears
My flame.
“Time’s just ain’t a –changin’
the way I thought they would. I blinked
and here I am, seventeen years since first able to legally imbibe, and now, I
don’t anymore…speaks upon how priorities are skewed early on in life”
And now
I just wonder and
wonder and think about how I can wonder
and….think
I’ll meander the aisle-ways
at the superstores, looking for deals or just people watching, to kill some time…sometimes
though, a thought while strikethrough my stagnancy…a true brainchild of
inspiration…a method or a way out of what…
all sensors working, all lights
a-flashing, so, so encouraged…filled with anticipation and excitement….
Only to relive…to be relieved by the
exact same moment of euphoria, just a few days later…
Time is a pit of
quicksand and sometimes you have a vine to pull you out and other time’s it’s nothing but a
snake, dangling, right in front of you, tempting you, to grab ahold and let it pull you out
Days merge into
decades as easily as hair changes brown to a trickling in of grey and you
wonder-you wonder, much differently than you would while blanketed by sweet
sweet
oblivion.
11:55, service will
start soon
I’m just trying
To make sure
God still lives in
here,
Would hate to
Stumble upon
Any more
black masses,
where
as
not to come
off
as
rude,
I find myself listening
to every
god-forsaken
word
At least that shows I still know what pathetic looks like. ONly wish I could divine it
as I stare each whisker down in the morning mirror, then perhaps, then perhaps
I can stave off elimination for another hour or two
just enough time to make it... yet another case for myself,
and hope to find
the hand that will guide me down the path,
and not become distracted
by those sales in
the bargain racks
wonder if having a semblance of what faith really is when you don't enact on it, just letting it be part of the background scenery
When the douter comes
to snuff my flame…I wonder what excuse I will then choose to blame?
