Vociferous stranger, vacant
you swoon
Dispersing anathemas
with each step
Whence meters find
their distant promenade
Benumbed sentry
traipsing beneath grey moons
With the countenance of
dark secrets kept
As rays lower upon
your unmarked grave
The furtive glance
secretes visions of ruin
As spindrifts thrash
forth their echoic stet
Forever haunting the
taciturn stave
Hunger asphyxiates the
sated tune
While the parched
arrhythmia slowly wept
For the heart knows
what the enemy craves
The boy shook, as the
thirsting neon crept
Whereas a mother’s
love, prayed while he slept
Good morning Fred,
ReplyDeleteCreepy setting and full of concepts and words that are new to me. Unsettling in a way, but that is what you had in mind to do with this. so different. I'd love to hear you read it, while I get the dictionary out :-)
Funny, though I thought I knew the word "voceiferous", I decided to look it up. Guess I didn't. Noisiness which is conspicuously offensive. Cool word. But it feels so much like ferocious that it tempted me to think it was related.
ReplyDeleteAs with "spindrifts" [a spray], so close to spendthrift.
And of course stek (edited out).
As I enjoyed myself working on those words and others, I struggled with the meaning. A werewolf boy? [prayed over by his mother after possessed by the moon]. I was hoping your afterward gave some clues.
What a dark story you tell, and still keeping to the form. Well done.
ReplyDeleteha. nice use of language fred....you had me pulling at the dictionary on a few of these...but that is a good thing...the hunger asphyxiates stanza was really tight...nicely done...
ReplyDeleteThere is a feeling of haunting danger in this poem for me, Fred. A line I found very strong was: The heart knows what the enemy craves.Very touching last couplet--the mother praying over the boy while he slept. I do hope her prayers were answered.
ReplyDeleteNicely worded, Fred. I especially like:
ReplyDeleteHunger asphyxiates the sated tune
While the parched arrhythmia slowly wept
For the heart knows what the enemy craves
The air filled with frights at your sea, and great use of the form by thee. Of course making me look up big words once more, but fun to use at ones shore
ReplyDeleteBenumbed sentry traipsing beneath grey moons
ReplyDeleteWith the countenance of dark secrets kept
A lot of good things in this. Enjoyed the read.
I love the Lunar mystery and magic in this.
ReplyDeletesomehow this reminded me a bit of the erlking....the danger..not seen but felt, the mother fighting for her kid...gave me shivers fred
ReplyDeleteYou always make such interesting choices of words, Fred, and then manahe to successfully weace them into your work. I'm going to have to ponderthis one a bit before I venture a suggestion about what it might mean ....
ReplyDeleteWhenever I come across pieces like this one I'm reminded of how much work I need to put in to finally see myself as mature in poetry writing...
ReplyDeleteGreat work!
nice form... might have to try that... some great word-usage here
ReplyDelete...Fred you made this too complicated for one who's not a native english speaker... and i suffered... so i relied on sounds to trace an appeal to me... and it did sounds creepy... & mystic... a kind of horror in a long dark night for the mother especially... smiles... i may perhaps come back some other time to dig better assessment...
ReplyDeleteThis is the kind of poem I have to come back to again, to try to unravel what all the different levels of meaning are. The imagery imbues the traditional sonnet form with a modernist, foreboding fervor. Powerful and effective.
ReplyDelete