Saturday, October 27, 2012

A Self-Portrait


Lines forcefeeding hope through
Invisible netting….history is a
Viable predictor of future events,
Again, and again, the robotic
Voice echoes this phrase, and hearing
This is one thing, but listening to it
As you stare deep into your eyes is
Depressing.

Times must change…pools of brown
Feel like the pits mammoths once
Suffocated soundly in…whimpering
As the tar trickled slowly over tongue…

Vines entrench us to our rooting, perhaps
A bit of choice is owed blame as well, but it
Does seem, as irrational as it may be, and is,
That we truly have no hope, especially if we
Cannot find it within our own person…

I stare begging myself to focus, focus and you will
Find, the one thing about myself that I find both
Comforting and my own…kind of odd to say, my own, when
Referring to yourself, is it not, for who’s else is it then?  The answers espy daggers depths….and then
Here
I have found that thing, the one thing, no two, that I appreciate most in my
Current state, and it, of all things,
Should’ve been the first of all things seen…
I do like my hair, as it freely flows about my face, draping down upon my spine, reminding me, it has no control but physical control….(yeah right>) but lets just go with it a little longer….I like my hair, fine, what was the other thing.?  It was the beard…
Which, of course,
Is THE thing
Everyone who
Knows me
Hates the most…

You know, I just have to laugh for a moment.  I wrote the prompt and posting over at D'Verse for their weekly Poetics tonight, and now, almost two hours in, I just realized I never posted my own poem yet….well, that pretty much sums up how the month's been going…

But, yeah, stop on over we're talking about ourselves.  People love that don't they…but seriously, we're composing Self-Portraits and bravely sharing them with one another.  Stop on by and see what we've composed.  I for one am now realizing, that for me personally, I probably should've waited until I was in a better mood to do this exercise, but, hey, being honest to one's self of how one feels is supposed to be cathartic and enlightening…so, we'll see.  

27 comments:

  1. smiles...was wondering when you were going to show up at your own party...smiles....actually you are doing really well at dverse man...great prompt...i like my hair as well, though i do at times miss the longer hair of my youth...really like the tar pit/mastadon part...ugh, kinda scary a bit going over the tongue but makes its point...smiles..nicely done sir...

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  2. Complex and fascintaing.

    Strange how we, in part, define ourselves through hair and how we wear it.

    Mine tickles my bum and on windy days I resemble Cousin it. Hmmm maybe I should have included that reference in my poem, chuckling.
    Personallay I like long hair & beards, tho I would never have the later.

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  3. I like the thought of your hair free flowing, down your back and about your face, and the idea of your beard being what everyone dislikes the most. To me, being our own unique self is what makes us stand out from the 'norm' of crowded sheep.
    Not sure what mood you were in Fred but, enjoyed this 'look' at you :)

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  4. Ha! I can very much relate to your liking the one thing others don't! (Although beards tend to be a bit like that - the wearers like the best!) Very sweet piece. The mammoths especially. k.

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  5. I liked your share, I will try to be honest as I write mine.

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  6. Enjoy that hair while you're young... = )

    I really like this part:

    Vines entrench us to our rooting, perhaps
    A bit of choice is owed blame as well, but it
    Does seem, as irrational as it may be, and is,
    That we truly have no hope, especially if we
    Cannot find it within our own person…

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  7. "Times must change…pools of brown
    Feel like the pits mammoths once
    Suffocated soundly in…whimpering
    As the tar trickled slowly over tongue…"

    i love this description, how many times have i looked at my eyes and seen how dark they are gotten... as if going extinct. very well done fred

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  8. It's a good poem - "vines entrench us to our rooting.." You put real vividness to every line here. Yeah you've got canny hair (ya know it) We get comfy in our 'style' that makes us feel 'free to be ourself'

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  9. Your beard represents sooo many things in my life...rather odd statement, I suppose. But, in their hating...I hang on even harder. The tattoos were the ultimate...there was never any going back there...loved the prompt...and LOVE the response. I think the mood is perfect...

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  10. I like how you drew yourself with the hair and the beard, your most distinguishing features ~

    Enjoyed the prompt and post Fred ~

    Have a good weekend ~

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  11. Hi Fred, nice prompt today at dVerse. I do like your hair AND your beard. And as far as the beard goes, it does not matter if others like it or not. Your opinion rules. I appreciated your honest introspection, Fred.

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  12. I'm sure as the writer this was hard but it comes across to the reader (or at least this reader) as slightly comic and good humored. Your portrait shows someone with a healthy sense of humor about themselves and a good indication of healthy esteem as you are not only proud of but are sporting a beard, resisting the pressure of others to change what you like best about yourself now. That type of empowerment is hopeful so despite the mood on display at the time it seems possible for things to improve. I do think we had to be very brave to share these portraits with one another as we often have the luxury of hiding behind our words (or at least I do). Thanks again for the inspiring prompt which forced me out of my comfort zone, which is 'supposed to be cathartic and enlightening) :D.

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  13. Well I like beards, my husband has one and when he shaves it off it's like he's another person. So he is not allowed to shave it off...he's not of course but I prefer the beard. It's scary and difficult to look at yourself and our moods dictate heavily how we see ourselves. I do hope you feel better by writing this and you've put together a terrific prompt. So you have inspired today and thankyou for your lovely comment too!

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  14. oh i hope my comment posted...i wrote such a long one and then got kicked out of the internet here in the hotel...grrrr...what i said was basically...GREAT JOB!!

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    1. oh, I hate when that happens. You know, Great Job can usually replace any compliment one makes:) but it does stink for the poster of the comment, as they put down this thought-filled response, only for it not to register…and at that point the air is sort of sucked out of the room. But I totally can appreciate that situation. Thanks Claudia.

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  15. Really impressed with everyone that shared with us at Poetics tonight. It's a blast for me to host there, such a great community of people, who always amaze me with the diversity of their responses, where one person creatively ups the ante each poem they write. I just love it and proud to be part of such a place, and of course being able to host. Thanks to everyone who responded to my piece tonight, the comments have been great and well-taken, really glad this piece went over well. Thanks again.

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  16. The 1st stanza took me to the book of Ecclesiastes, one of my fave books in the bible. Nothing new is under the sun, all is futile. I love it all Fred.

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  17. Fantastic first line, and then confiding that you should have waited for a better mood... these two say so much... and then the hirsute pride. Great stuff, really wouldn't have missed it.

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  18. Thanks Fred, interesting prompt and been there with the hair and the beard. Now both too grey so one short and and one gone

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  19. hahaha the beard is hated the most, but you can use it to boast that is just funny to the cat. And oh the shame for being late to the dVerse mat, for your own prompt, geez hahaha

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  20. Can't see your hair, but I love your beard. My husband tries to shave his sometimes, but I always persuade him not to. Keep loving it. It's your physical signature. Love what you wrote about yourself. And again, just want to say - really good prompt.

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  21. I was surprised how difficult this was to write. I think people normally self censor when they are writing about themselves. I know I did and as you said it is important to be in the right mood. Like your Samson hair..watch out for girls called Delilah:)

    Thanks for the interesting prompt.

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  22. Chuckles! Appreciate the humor built around this! Making a stand on being an individual is a big thing. You bravely stood by having a beard is something others ought to respect. Nicely Fred!

    Hank

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  23. sounds like you appreciate the "wild" side of things. I miss those days (sometimes :)

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  24. ah, wish I could join you in the admiration of that feature on myself, sadly my hair has mostly gone by the wayside, victim of stress and heredity.

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  25. Love the independence in most liking the one thing you think evertyone dislikes the most. I suspect you are wrong about that, though.

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  26. Looking at the robotic nature of existence can be depressing, but mainly if one expects otherwise. I am convinced that idealism, romanticism and teleological illusions can lead to far more suffering than the expect comfort that tempt us to embrace them.

    Concerning Hair:
    I use to have shoulder-length hair and large beard and loved it far more than anyone. But when I started doing my medicine rotations, where I was responsible for the care of others and saw their lack of confidence in me due to their judgement of what my hair must mean, I decided to cut it all off. I thought, "Well, I could change them and try to get everyone to realize that surface judgements are silly, or, I could just think about them." I began to realize that the good reasons for keeping the hair had, over the years, been crowded out by all the silly self-righteous rationalization.

    When I cut it, I felt exposed, normal, bland, compromising. It took a little time to be OK with robotic, expected and routine and to find a new (and not ironically superficial) freedom. [not following, so feel free to e-mail]

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