A cortical rendering
Insinuated a larger
Candor yet to come
A brigand with a posse
All his own, gently
climbed
The steep inclines of
mountains
Unexplored
A scarping formed,
jagged crisp,
Fragmenting faults
undeterred by a
Jaunting swoon of
numb-to-pain
Ratios that never
learned the cautions
Of which to chancily
err during such storms
Of predatory doubt
Cringing I cowered
like a chirping dove,
Clinging tightly for
the peace to accept
Our plight for love….
waiting…waiting…for all these clouds to pass
Shared with D'Verse for Open Link Night, where Poetry is life, and life, is better with poetry.
Shared with D'Verse for Open Link Night, where Poetry is life, and life, is better with poetry.
love is often a plight...and not an easy road as the fairy tales often try to sell us...there will be storms in any passionate relationship but often they add depth...
ReplyDeleteand doubt can def be predatory as well....hope you are doing well today sir...
DeleteSuch is the wait of such a fate, as one clings away when maybe they should let some things fade away. But holding on too can help things come due.
ReplyDeleteLife is better with poetry, especially yours. This brought to mind the cinematic image of Gandalf clinging to the side of the mountain, the fellowship of the ring still untested but determined to push forth and save the world. All the while being tortured by Saruman's snow and lightning storm. You always approach the mythic and epic with pitch perfect tone. That this is stream of consciousness shows how it lives and breathes in you, pouring out poetically and naturally.
ReplyDeleteSometimes finding true love depends on ratios that never learn, but then that leaves us open to pain, doesn't it? That's the paradox. You express it well. Thanks for visiting my blog!
ReplyDeleteIndeed sometimes the clouds seem to just hang there. Love is not an easy journey, as a chirping dove expresses.
ReplyDeletenot easy to be in these storms of a relationship when the wind howls and we fear that everything falls apart...but when it holds, it will strengthen a love immensely...
ReplyDeleteVery cool poem, Fred - I like the internal jumps and wonderfully musical word choices - scarping - fragmenting faults - predatory doubt - very cool. k.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this on a couple of levels. Literally, because tomorrow I'm driving south to S. Calif and will spend the night in Lone Pine,at the base of Mt. Whitney, the tallest peak in the continental US; metaphorically, it works so well.
ReplyDeleteI love the harsh jumping consonants in the opening of the second stanza, and the images so suited to them--the whole thing is sharp and vivid from beginning to end, Fred.
ReplyDeleteExtremely well written! Sometimes you never know which way things are going. Although, we should be able to feel secure at all times, life isn't really like that is it. I guess that would be a fairy tale wish would it not? Just sayin'. Cannot wait to for your next write.
ReplyDeleteI think you have already been to my write. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading Kooser (not your style at all), I really liked his advice to title a poem in such a way to give the reader orientation instead of choosing your favorite phrase from the poem.
I didn't get oriented until the last paragraph, then, because it was short, gave it another read. But like other abstract poems, I still have trouble. I will guess, though: The predictions of the storm mean nothing as you sit there unsure, and insecure of what will happen.
I do like the language -- just wish I understood more. Perhaps after a few more years of reading poetry. Meanwhile, I wonder who your audience is meant to be.
Fred, great contrasts in harshness and tenderness. Love that phrase "cortical rendering" excellent poem:-)
ReplyDeletesometimes I wonder if it isn't safe to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground, but then the view from the top–so breathtaking–can making the journey worth all the rough patches and clouds.
ReplyDeletevery intense write.
ReplyDeletehey Fred
i can hear your voice inside this automatically now, which i like V much . . . i feel at home in your work, though not sluggish or taking anything for granted
because of the sense of adventure i always feel in the
reading.
a tight compact too, which serves the content well in my mind, in trnaslation . . .
Ratios that never learned the cautions
Of which to chancily err during such storms
Of predatory doubt
excellent tapping of the zeitgeist fred.
Cheers bro