Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Bottoming Out

A pounding pace
bathed this sopping
atmosphere

Combustible ripostes
accompany the
slap of fear

Wings cast skyward
yet doused and damped
tufts can ne'er upward
dance

Nothing to soften such
backhanded blows, left to
writhe with askance views,
seeing peril behind each
twine the drapery used


in this land of crags, the saucer's
spin and spin and spin, breaking
loose the heat, the product and
accompaniment of; when the
samovar explodes

In this land of crags,
the crevice snaps in tines
and prongs, scattering the
self and all it's wounds from
it's precipice

Here, you remain, directionless
and alone…this the condition
known as bottoming out

This week Shawna gives us 15 words, to use in the composition of our poetic tapestries.  Head on over to Monday Melting to find out the words, see what poetry has been spun, and while you're there, why not play along.

7 comments:

  1. What an unpleasant feeling this must be. :)

    This is my favorite section:

    "when the
    samovar explodes
    In this land of crags,
    the crevice snaps in tines
    and prongs, scattering the
    self and all its wounds"

    ReplyDelete
  2. The flow to your verse sure had some pace and snap, just needed a pop and you could get your very own commercial hahaha that just came out, as my fingers spun about.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is beautifully layered! Now, I've got to check out the list.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "In this land of crags,
    the crevice snaps in tines
    and prongs, scattering the
    self and all it's wounds from
    it's precipice"

    The heart of the piece... "in this land of crags" Love this. Amazed at the poem you've achieved from the given words.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's cool how you illustrate the emotion or mood using the imagery that you did. Slap of fear and backhand blows, to me are very unpleasant things be hit with. The second bit is a dire landscape. I think suddenly being aware of being directionless can be felt in that kind of shock.

    BTW, like that you have category links on the top of your page now. I wasn't aware some poems were part of a series before you have these.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sorry comment eaten.

    Something has gone wrong at tea time- this reminds me of Auden's "As I walked out one evening" - "the crack in the teacup opened a lane to the land of the dead." Very intense, and difficult landscape--which can also be fairly quotidian. k.

    ReplyDelete