Deep in the mines
Where copper can’t be found
Lives a breed of
Goblin
Deep in the mines
The color of the rocks
confuse
A mischievous breed of
Goblin
Deep in the mines
The Nickel won’t find
Any bits of copper
Deep in the mines
Without copper to
claim
The nickel creates its
mischief
Deep in the mines
Miners may find
Misfortunes, sometimes-deadly
misfortunes
Even though no copper
could be found
Townsfolk blame the
miner’s woes
Upon Goblins, Goblins
called the Nickel
GIVES A SAD TONE FOR MINERS, DESCRIBED WELL.
ReplyDeletethe lyrical nature of your verse is very haunting fred...great story telling through it...and i like your pairing of nickle and copper as well, ha...again the roots in reality def add to the menace of some myths...
ReplyDeletea great one... had never heard about that creature.
ReplyDeletevery interesting...never heard about that story...the repetition of deep in the mines creates great suspence and works very effectively
ReplyDeleteI like the repetition of "deep in the mines"...adds emphasis to how important the mines were to the miners and Nickel. Towns were centered around the mines, providing all the labor. Never heard of the Nickel before. Cool, a new goblin in the family.
ReplyDeleteYou have created such an eerie tone - forbidding - had never heard of this breed of goblin - very cool! K
ReplyDeleteHow interesting Fred ~ I like the twist and repetition of the verses ~ We all have to blame someone for our woes, right ~ Good prompt and thanks for the challenge ~
ReplyDeleteYou had me at Goblin. Nice word weaving, and tricky use of verse & legend. Very enjoyable; thanks.
ReplyDeleteHmm... that's new to me. The repitition works well here, Fred. Thanks for a wonderful prompt at dVerse.
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting one I'd never heard of. There's obviously a grain of truth in the myth, and you showed it so well.
ReplyDeleteThat is fantastic, what a way to weave the mythological challenge with your own persona namesake. And a provocative one, too, about nickel in copper. As I said, your verse made me want to read more on the original source, so I found this link - Mythical Creatures. Interesting!
ReplyDeleteI had not heard this myth before. Thanks for introducing it to me. I like the way the poem seems to mimic the realization of the miners that they have nickel not copper. Interesting psychological effect achieved in a unique way.
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear about the Nickel and some German folklore. In Cornish tin mines there were the "Knockers" who were like leprechauns and would knock to warn miners of a collapse (or some said were knocking as they caused the collapse).
ReplyDeleteLove the cadence of this, Fred. And, the story is really cool. I love learning about these kinds of things. Superstition was a huge part of life back then.
ReplyDeleteI like it...a new old story to me..:)
ReplyDelete..your repetitions give me a haunting feel all throughout the entire piece.... really interesting to hear / read this... i have always thought of Germans having one of the most attracting folktales in the world... the Goblins are almost similar to our Duwende (elf) or Nuno sa Punso that gives misfortunes & sometimes death to those who came to their territory... smiles... i enjoyed this & the prompt... thank you...
ReplyDeleteThis is really cool, miners would be a very suspicious lot no doubt with many myths and stories. Loved the quick pace and repetition in this one...and thank you for the wonderful prompt!
ReplyDeleteVery moving narrative, quite new to me. All the more enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteMetals are elusive – nice cadence
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece, the goblins in the mines.
ReplyDeleteLoved the rhyme esp. the first line that kind of works like a refrain! and well we do have a tendency to see the grass greener on the other side or call the grapes to be sour. Blame it on the goblins! Some of these folklores have so much value and wisdom hidden in them!!
ReplyDelete