Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Funny Business

Once again Tuesday is upon us, and for the first time in a few weeks I'm actually on-line prior to 3pm.  All that means is no late starts for me today.  After posting this, I'm heading right on over to D'verse for Open Link Night.  If you like poetry, which I'm assuming you do, I highly advise you hop on over just the same.

Well, for today's post I thought I'd do something I rarely do.  Well, check that, I write this type of stuff all the time, it's just that I very rarely post what's written.  I thought I'd post something with a bit of humor in it.  What follows are some of these mini-poems I've written.  I typically jot down anything and everything, and sometimes I find them funny.  These are some of what I consider the best of them. Well, they amuse me anyhow, hopefully they'll conjure a giggle or two in you as well.


A Babylonian songbird,
Wearing socks of steel
Finds the air impossible to steer

Whilst aquamarine may feel a tad bit green
Cerulean always appears consistently blue

Sordid collections
Are typically vile sets

The anchorman on the evening news,
Reported that the axe-murderer
had once again eluded justice
To which, the child remarked,
“he must be quite cleaver.”

Just because a Cactus is inherently cereus,
Doesn’t mean it can’t lighten up a room.

Brad’s cheat sheet fell from his desk to the floor.
After retrieving it, the middle-school teacher revealed her stern side, prompting Foster to unexpectedly smile from ear to ear


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Rick Lime


Rick Lime was always somewhat thought of as a joke.  The children chide him of, the one free thing there is in life.  The thing you have before you speak, the name attached to your soul, the identity you’ve always known. 

School is a place for learning, and desire in Rick was always burning, yet his passion became stung, when his favorite teacher was hit by a truck and in her place came forth a brand new face. The substitute did not know the children’s names, so roll call he performed each day.  In symmetry he spoke the names, moving front to back, alphabetically imposed, there stood Rick, in the middle of the K’s and O’s as there were no children with names of M’s or N’s.

Johnson, “Here”, Porter, “Here”, Killian and Oliver likewise affirmed, and then came Rick’s fateful turn.  The teacher chuckled, as he spoke, the other kids had no clue, but politely laughed, seemingly on cue.  Limerick the teacher spoke, affirming to all, that this child was a joke.  Rick did not answer as he was steamed, that a teacher would take part in such a scheme.  He kept quiet until it was repeat, Lime…Rick, but fast enough to sound again like limerick.  After the children’s laughter subsided, the teacher’s did as well.  He looked around until little Ricky spoke up.  “ I am here, but a correction I must make.”  Ricky shaking, trembling fierce, as the teacher’s funny face disappeared.  “ While you are new and do not know, my name is Lime, like the citrus fruit, not Limb like a foot or hand, so I’m sure you can understand that the pun you’ve made, I don’t see as grand, to which I most persistently disagree, demanding a retraction by thee” Ricky quivered, as he waited for the teacher to finish up the cruelty of the pause.

Seconds felt like hours for this little boy, ending only when the substitute said, “I’m sorry, I had no intent to cause you shame, I did not mean to ridicule your name,” yet seconds later he spoke again. “  Lime, Richard is your name, but Richard is a grown up name and you dear child are but a boy, so, from this point forward you shall be referred to by me, Lime…”

Before the nick of name could depart his mouth, an eruption of jeers consumed them all, from the student in the way behind, to the classmates sitting first in line.  For much time this laughter did persist, with only the bell spoiling the classroom tryst. 

Single file flowed the pupils, where not a dry eye could be saved. Tears of laughter for all but one, whose eyes were damp from jokes a teacher spun.