Self-Absorbed

Clinging on to memories is no way to push forward,

Remembering times shared and happy thoughts

Cannot forge a trail or alter whatever is next to come,

Reflections on past glories

Is no way to soothe the sting

Created from rejections taking place in the present

Tense I am, soaked and cold,

Trying my best to numb away the negative

With so many I don’t knows,

Answers are good and fine

But only work when you unite a question to its side

Without understanding

Without direction

You’re left standing

Without attraction

To those things you need the most

Looking in the mirror

Is a terrible Idea

When you cannot remember

The face you see

May look ugly, may terrify you

Wretched, Beloved

I never was,

I could not be,

Meandering in a bloodless flow,

What’s obscure for you, is clarity to me,

 Upfront,
Determined,

This woman would not let this go,

Quietly I refute each advance,

Yet she forced upon me a recant,

Persistence is a pestilence to the uninitiated,

And its vaccine firmly rests upon her lips,

 Ever obstacle, every stage,

I could not avoid,

Impossible to evade,

This wretched, beloved,

Intent on saving me,

I hate this, countless regressions, dispossessions of

Powerless ambivalence,

I love her, each day more than the one before,

Succumbed to this portent rising, an impetus

I still don’t have an answer to,

A question I’ve lost long ago.